Approximate reading time: 4 min
Written the 14th May 2022
Today I got sent
To a school near Kew
As I arrived at the door
I almost immediately knew…
It was going to be
“One of those days!”
What was it, pray tell
That gave it away
The huge sign on the gate
And from my own experience
From my personal understanding…
These are the worst schools to work in
Everybody is stressed
Driven by so many incentives
Everyone clambering to do their best
The teachers are overloaded
Continually pushed to exceed
Constant changes always happening
To bring the school up to speed
The timetables are choc-a-block
Simply no time to chat
To catch up with your class
About random this and that’s
It’s like this curated show
That has to be “put on“,
Genuine connection
Is often quite simply gone
Because who has time
To just sit and be with the kids
When you’re rushing around filling in
All of these grids
As you jump through the hoops
That are daily required
Teachers are often overwhelmed
Emotionally wired
And in these schools, I disappear
A mere phantom ghost
Because no one has time
To smile or play host
So, I mentally prepared
As I walk through that door
But I knew I’d be OK
I’ve done this before
I was told I was going
To be teaching year two
But none of the teachers
Had been informed or even knew
So, I floated around aimlessly
Waiting to be told
And I watch the children
Who were so loud and so bold
And as the teachers shouted above them
They grew even more wild
The behaviour was appalling
As the noise slowly stockpiled
There was fighting and anger
Volatile reacting
These were not kids
Comfortable in their skin
The actual teaching was well prepared
In every respect
(In an outstanding school
You’d expect nothing less)
But no eye contact was made
She was playing her part
Of being “a good teacher”
But where was her heart
She spoke in that voice
That so many adults use
When they want to sound authoritarian
And tell kids what to do
The undertone implies
“Listen to me, I’m the boss”
Honestly, in the past
It used to make me so cross
The inauthenticity
The haughtiness and control
Of grown-up adults
Simply acting out a role
But as I watched and I listened
All I felt today was sad
I didn’t feel irritated
Or even the slightest bit mad
Because I get now that it’s not
That teachers simply “don’t care”
It’s just how can you show up
Show up and be there
With an open heart
Ready to embrace
The emotional needs of our students
When we haven’t yet made space….
For all our own needs
To be acknowledged and seen
When we don’t understand
What our own feelings mean
So, I noticed the sadness
I let it be there
I recognised that it was active
Because I do care
As we walked to assembly
The corridor noise was deafening
As children screamed and shouted
What an irksome din
The assembly was a wonderful
Buffet salad of words
Where all the right things were said
So many lovely things heard
But it felt so vacuous
I can hardly describe
And as music blared through the speakers
I just wanted to hide
I scanned the sea of faces
I noticed instantaneously
Those sound-sensitive children
Just like me
Who sat with their ears covered
Trying to block it out
How did none of the teachers notice
And call this shit out
And what was interesting to note
I got a flare-up of IBS
A cramping ache in my abdomen
(Which comes when I’m highly stressed)
So, I was surprised that I had it
Because I felt relatively calm
Perhaps my body needs more time
To learn to catch on
To this new placid me
Who doesn’t emotionally react
Who doesn’t feel like everything
Is a personal attack
But I also took it as a very
VERY clear sign
Not to accept work at this school again
When I get asked next time
Because energetically it was
An atrocious fucking mess
And honest to God
Who needs that stress