Approximate reading time: 10 min

All in all, it’s been a pretty good week:-)

It started out a little crappy and then morphed into amazing….so I think that makes the week’s average a strong ‘pretty good’. 😉

So, let’s start with my date on Monday.

Raymond and I matched over three weeks ago and we actually had a date planned for last week, Wednesday. Unfortunately, he cancelled on the day, saying he had ‘urgent business travel’ to attend to.

Could we reschedule?

Sigh.

If there is one thing that I can’t stand, it’s people cancelling at the last minute. Let’s just say it’s a little bit of a pet peeve of mine. I appreciate that ‘shit’ happens, but in the past, I seem to have chosen friends who pushed the cancel button as soon as something a little brighter or shinier showed up on their social calendar. I once invited a new group of 6 friends I had made to dinner in my new flat. Only one turned up.

She then took great delight in taunting me with the fact that none of the others would show.

And lo and behold – she was right.

That should have been a VERY obvious red flag for me that these people were not reliable and definitely not worthy of my time….

But alas, I spent another 6 months desperately trying to ‘fit in with them’.

These days, I choose my friends a lot more carefully.

Reliability is a core value for me.

That been said I am also learning to be a little more flexible and to give people the benefit of the doubt.

So I agreed to reschedule for Monday.

I arrived at the restaurant on time, and Raymond was already sitting at the table. As I walked over, I went to give him the standard ‘hello’ hug.

(As I have always done with all my dates – I am a hugger people!)

It turned into this awkward exchange when I realised, at the last minute, that Raymond had no intention of actually even standing up to greet me. I then felt his whole body stiffen as random, virtual stranger lunged at him for a hug.

(I mean, I know that chivalry is dying a slow death these days, but is it too much to expect a person to stand up?)

Lacklustre is such a huge turn-off.

So, I sat down and made a mental note to gauge the body language of future dates before going in for ‘THAT’ hug.

We started chatting.

It wasn’t one of those scenarios when you instantly know you will never have anything in common with this person. He was incredibly nervous, though, so I thought maybe with a bit of time, he would relax.

After about 5 minutes of shit-awkward chat, Raymond excused himself, saying he needed to go to the toilet.

I secretly thought to myself –

“You better not be doing a runner on me, Raymond”

A couple of minutes later, he returns to the table, looking mildly flustered, and says:

“I’m sorry my son has not been picked up, and I need to go and fetch him”

Me: “Oh…now?“

Raymond: “Yes“

Me: “Um, ok… No problem.“

And he was gone – faster than a bat out of hell!

I must admit, I was a little shell-shocked.

Did I just get the BIG-HEAVE-HO via the fake emergency phone call in the bathroom?

I am pleased to report that up until that point,

I had never had that happen to me before.

Honestly, it felt a little kuck.

I am perfectly capable of having a drink and a chat with a random stranger whom I know I probably won’t be seeing again, and it baffles me that some people aren’t. Not everything has to be about ‘finding’ love – sometimes just a little human connection is enough for it to be a lovely evening.

But apparently,

Five minutes

with me was all Raymond could manage.

My inner dialogue was rampant.

As I battered down Neurotic Angel, who was gleefully listing, in alphabetical order, all the things that she deems wrong with me…..my calmer internal mother reminded me that there was always the very real chance that the secret phone call/message that came at precisely the same time that he was away in the toilet wasn’t fake…maybe it was legit.

But if it was, then SURELY, the man would have said something like..umm….I don’t know….

“Please, could we reschedule?”.

His radio silence on the app was also a slight giveaway.

(If it had been genuine, a follow-up apology message would have gone a long way to relieve my jilted soul.)

I spent the rest of the night nursing my wounded ego and reminding myself relentlessly that this wasn’t about me.

The next morning, I saw that Raymond had cancelled the date and requested to reschedule it

– with the message:

“Sorry, had a family emergency”.

Dude, you left me sitting in a restaurant by myself,

and that’s the best you can say?

I politely declined.

(Did I mention lacklustre is a massive turn-off for me?)

I am sure Raymond is a nice guy,

but his reliability metre already sits at -2,

and we haven’t even had our first proper date yet.

I value myself

I value my time

and

I appreciate heartfelt apologies when things don’t go as planned.

Sometimes dating REALLY suxs!

I had a trial day this week at a Catholic school for a 3-day position teaching a reception class.

I absolutely loved it.

The children were beautiful, the co-teacher was lovely, and the TAs were friendly and super supportive. The best part was that they followed a very ‘play-based’ curriculum, with no structured work that the children had to finish each day. In my 7 years of supply teaching, I have only seen one other school that does that, and the benefits of it are clearly evident in the school. Reception children are typically only 4 or 5 years old….what on earth are we rushing them for?

FYI, Finland has one of the most successful educational systems, and their children only start formal learning at the age of 7. Unfortunately, many UK schools are failing miserably in this regard.

So anyway. I had an amazing time with the kids. I spent the day playing shop, building towers, drawing unicorns, reading stories, modelling how to ask nicely for things and helping them to navigate disputes and disagreements ‘kindly’- all the things that are so desperately needed at this age. At the end of the day, I had an interview with the deputy head, which went really well, and he said they would get back to me that afternoon. Thirty minutes later, I got a call from my agent saying they absolutely loved me and could I start on Monday.

YES!

YES!

OMG YES!!

I recently also got another 1 day a week role, teaching a reception class, at another Catholic school, which I am really loving. After 15 years of being self-employed and never being 100% sure what I would earn from week to week, the prospect of having 4 days a week of guaranteed paid work was absolutely amazing. I sat down this morning, so excited to write this blog post and scream it from the rooftops.

I have a (Semi) permanent job!!!

The moral of my story was going to be :

You see, stay true to yourself,

and things eventually work out!!!

And then just as I finished PART 1 and I was about to start climbing onto my roof….I received a call from my agent.

He said that the school had retracted its offer and had decided to go with someone else.

Apparently, they wanted someone who could teach on three consecutive days, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday….and I was already teaching at the other school on Tuesday. Of course, they knew this when I went for the interview, and they were perfectly fine with me working on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays….but all of a sudden, it’s an issue? The most frustrating part is that the teachers at my 1 day a week school had actually asked me last week if I could teach Thursdays instead. I had said yes. My agent said he had spent the last two days trying to get a confirmation of this from the school,

but no one was responding back.

The second school wasnt willing to wait.

So, I lost the job.

On a stupid technicality.

I will admit I am feeling pretty fucking devastated at the moment.

I was honestly so excited to work at that school.

I feel angry.

I feel frustrated.

I feel irritated as hell.

This is something that the school should have sorted out and agreed upon before telling someone they had the stupid job.

ARRRRG

Sometimes life REALLY sux!!

And yet beneath it all, there is a part of me that says:

Let it go, it obviously wasn’t meant for you.

Something better will come along.

Sigh

I know.

I know.

It looks like the ‘rooftop’ shouting has been postponed till another day.

It’s Sunday now, I’ve had two days of processing time and I feel more like myself again.

It is VERY IMPORTANT that I don’t end on such a depressing note;-)

So, I will end with Beautiful Willow, whom I have had the pleasure of spending two full weeks with. She has been absolutely gorgeous, allowing me to kiss, cuddle, and hug her incessantly without ONE iota of a complaint.

For an introverted dog who could only manage 5 minutes of cuddling a month ago, she has come a hell of a long way.

(See, there is ALWAYS someone who will love your hugs:-)