Approximate reading time: 3 min
Written 26th April
As I sit in my garden
A deluge of tears
Exhausted by my life
Of musical chairs
Wanting so much to settle
Form authentic bonds
To find a home
A safe place
Where do I belong?
And as I cut down my work hours
To make more time for me
Creating this space
Has become a necessity
For my mental health
So, I can learn to regulate
My up-down emotions
Help myself recalibrate
To make time for all the things
That set my heart alight
Like studying
Painting
Finding time to write
It’s the right thing to do
(In my soul, I know)
The downside, of course
Money is slow
And this brings its own stress
This adds new fear
What if this road I’ve chosen
Simply goes nowhere
And as the bills pile up
Ever so slowly
It only contributes to me feeling
Even more lonely
Sometimes, it’s hard to have faith
To see the wood for the trees
To know there’s a plan
A deeper purpose for me
So, I’m just sitting in my garden
I focus on my breath
Because in this un-zen moment
No life answers are there
I watch four squirrels
Playing high in the trees
As white dogwood blossoms
Scotch mist over me
The squirrels jump and fly
From one branch to the next
Do they have any worries
Do they ever feel stress
About missing a branch
Falling down to earth
Do they ever think
“That tree’s rickety
I’ll give it a wide birth’
I watch them for a while
Mesmerised in awe
I have never seen so many
In my garden before
It’s like the universe orchestrated
An acrobatic show
To keep me focused in this moment
To just let it go
Suddenly, out of nowhere
A small fox appears
(It’s like watching my very own
Nature Premier)
He darts out of the trees
And makes a grab for
One of the little critters
On the ground, trying to explore
He missed!
(Thank God)
That would have traumatised me
The massacre of a squirrel
Is something I’d rather NOT see
Mr Fox stood for a moment
Staring up longingly
This beautiful little creature
So unaware of me
And then he sat down defeatedly
In the tall grass
Surrounded by beautiful
Purple flowering Jack Frost
And that moment was incredible
As he looked up at me
Silently imploring;
“Damit, there goes my tea
The next instant, he was gone
Sprinted away
Sadly, without
His fellow rodent entrée
Then a squirrel started barking
Such a curious sound
Was he warning his friends
“Mr Fox is around”
And just like that
Suddenly
The trees are all clear
My furry little friends
Somehow magically disappeared
But they left with me
The most precious of gift
Feeling more grounded, stable
Less emotionally adrift
A deep gratitude to have
This oasis in my back yard
And a small reminder today
Everybody’s life gets hard
From tiny squirrels who need to
Avoid being munched
To hungry little foxes
Scavenging for lunch
