All about Dogs, Creativity, Poetry

Happy Halloween

Approximate reading time: 13 min

About 4 years ago I published a blog post about how I desperately wanted to go to a Halloween House Party. I bought two second-hand wedding dresses in a charity shop in eager anticipation of the upcoming Halloween House Party that I had not yet been invited to.

My best friend Rachel, who was with me at the time mocked me SHAMEFULLY……

for buying said wedding dresses without having anywhere to wear them.

Her lack of foresight and vision in my manifestation powers was tragic, to say the least.

Unfortunately, neither of the wedding dresses fit me and they needed to be returned.

Well, it’s taken four years but I finally got invited to a Halloween House Party!

The only problem is I still didn’t have my wedding dress to fulfil my Gothic/zombie bride look.

I was secretly kicking myself for not being more vigilant throughout the last 4 years!!!

I got complacent people!

After trapesing around second-hand shops for a day I eventually conceded that I would need to give up the ‘wedding dress’ dream.

I ended up buying a cheap evening dress at Primark.

Armed with my fake blood, face paints, PVC glue and toilet paper I think I did a pretty good job creating an awful bloody mess.

I had soooooo much fun!

I am not sure why I love Halloween so much!

Maybe it is the creativity that goes into it.

Maybe it’s the reactions and smiles you get from other people.

Or maybe it’s just the one night of the year when I get to showcase what I feel like on the inside at times….

A morbid, shocking mess!

So I wish I could say I had an amazing time at the party.

But alas I didn’t really.

If I had to choose one word to describe the night it would be ‘prickly’.

I’m trying to figure out if

a) I am just older and a lot less sensitive than in my younger years and hence a lot less worried about offending people.

or

B) the younger generation is just so much more overly sensitive and worried about offending people than when we were younger

I don’t know …the jury is out.

It would be highly unfair of me to judge a whole generation based on one party….but those are my thoughts.

I’ll give you an example of what I mean.

So I was sitting in the chill-out room with my friend and a guy was sitting next to me. I knew he was the husband of a girl I had chatted to downstairs so I thought it would be polite to say ‘hi’ to him.

After I has said ‘hi’ my friend leaned over and asked him how he knew Isabella

I thought it was a fairly straightforward question really.

His response back was:

Needless to say, neither I nor my friend knew what a ‘munch’ was because we are not polyamorous.

For all you fellow polyamorous virgins out there a “munch” is simply a casual social gathering for people involved in or interested in kink, BDSM alternative relationship lifestyles, or fetishes.  But no BDSM, kink, or fetish activities take place.

I learnt a new word:-)

Instead, I felt like we were embroiled in a really bad spy novel.

I mean surely life doesn’t need to be sooooo complicated?

Does it?????

I will admit the conversation pretty much died after that.

Who has the energy?

But on the plus side I had a lovely chat with my friend,

I got to go to a Halloween House Party

and I got to play with fake blood!

In fairness to myself and my manifestation powers…..I CLEARLY wasn’t specific enough when manifesting my Halloween House Party four years ago!
What I ‘should’ have requested from the universe was

I shall not make that mistake again.

And just to end off…..It appears that my manifestation power is sooooo abounding that I manifested a Halloween House Party for Rachel to go to as well.

How INCREDIBLE is THAT!!!

Jupiter

I signed up with an agency

To start looking after dogs

This past weekend

 I had my very first job

 I was so excited

I honestly couldn’t wait

His name was Jupiter

He had long spindly legs

He was house-trained of course

Within the first 5 minutes

Jupiter had wet the floor

So after that minor incident

I wasn’t so sure

Consequently, every time

Jupiter would start to whine

 I’d start worrying

And have to take him outside

That dog, god bless him

Got 16 walks in 2 days

It was bloody exhausting

If I left him alone

He’d start to cry

I’ll admit I was left feeling

A little cross-eyed

We are not actually allowed

Dogs in our flat

 So his crying made me anxious

What if someone got a whiff

And reported me

Oh my God imagine ….what if ….

But it was gorgeous absorbing

Some canine love

But I’m pretty sure once

Was more than enough

From now I’ll simply

Be applying for walks

Not keeping them in my home

Permanence

A beautiful building

Made of pure glass

Truly breathtaking;

Till I let out a gasp

As I looked up, I saw

A huge tree had grown

Somewhere in the middle

So visibly shown

Huge, chunky branches

Growing from different floors

Millions of dovetailing

Roots that I saw

Aggressively pushing

Through the shatterproof glass

The area the tree engulfed

Was extensively vast

I stood staring

In absolute disbelief and shock

Surely all it would take

Was one little knock

And everything in front of me

Would come crashing down

I tried to warn the people

Who were walking around…

 I started to scream

But not a single soul

Took any notice of me

Like a crazy-mad-person

Screaming in the dark

I was so utterly confused

Why was it so hard?

For people to open their eyes

To question the status quo

Be curious about life

And interested to know

 How long has this building

Like this withstood?

 Why wasn’t this tree

Growing safely in a wood?

How long would it be

Before everything collapsed…. ?

Why was everyone walking around

 So bloody fucking relaxed?

I woke up bemused

Such a symbolic dream

It wasn’t difficult to figure

Out my subconscious stream

 Two of the things that I love

Entangled somehow

Wrapped up in the emotions

That I am feeling right now

Glass buildings remind me

Of my dad, whom I adored

He worked at Shatterproof Glass

 I remember visiting him once

When I was a child

 And the building that he worked in

Was truly inspired

The first glass building

I had ever seen

And then we walked inside

As he introduced me…

To his colleagues and friends

With such utter pride

Love was all I ever saw

In my dad’s eyes

Then he took me to his office

And hanging on his wall

Was a school project I’d made

The previous year before

It was all about Guatemala

 I’ll never forget

Feeling like I had drunk

 10 vodka gimlets

Dizzy with pride

Intoxicated by his love

As he showed off the work

 His daughter had done

To this day glass buildings trigger

Thoughts of my dad

The love and the pride

That he so clearly had

And then strangely enough

I fell in love with trees

After my dad died

They started speaking to me

Something about trees

Pull me up when I’m sad 

 Their beauty, their stability

So majestically strong

They root to the ground saying:

When I’m surrounded by trees

I’m simply filled with awe

 How is it that for so long

I simply never saw

Their utter radiance

What they represent

Such a stunning symbol

 Of illusive permanence

Ah yes lovely ‘permanence’

Where ever do you hide?

I’ve consciously been searching

For the longest of time

So, there it is floating

High in the sky

It’s roots flailing to be grounded

(Something is awry)

And this shattered glass building

Representing the death of the fantasy

That my meaning will be found

In anyone else but me

Not in a dad who adored me

An eternally loving mother

Or the warm, loving embrace

Of any significant other

Not in the eyes of my children

 Perhaps beaming at me

The only person to give my life meaning

Is quite simply me

Or perhaps the glass represents

This world that is shattered

Letting go of the illusion

That it actually even matters

Another reminder to simply

Accept things as they are

Which for most of my life

Has been so incredibly hard

Driven by this desire

 To constantly fix

The brokenness and damage

That leaves me transfixed

So, I’m going to continue

Stepping away

From the bigger picture

That so often looms every day

Relinquish control

Compassion is all I need

To finally plant

My very own roots

My very own tree

Connecting together

All the varied parts of me