Unconnected dots

Approximate Reading Time: 6 minutes

I’m back in the land of the positive.

I can’t remember if I mentioned that I got my dissertation proposal back?

I got 68%

(The lowest I wanted was 68%,
so I’m happy.)

The feedback my lecturer gave me was very helpful except she said:

“You seem to have a lot of ideas going on that don’t always quite connect up!“

(Ummm…welcome to ‘my head’ lady!)

But you see,

unbeknownst to most people

connects up perfectly in my mind!

Unfortunately, when I have a word limitation it’s hard to explain all the connections adequately. So rather than leave any of the connections out,

(Which would probably be the wise thing to do when doing academic writing)

I stuff them all in…

…cause they all matter to me!

But my lecturer’s advice has been duly noted and I shall do my best to ‘connect all the dots‘ in my final dissertation.

This blog post, in the meantime,

is dedicated to all the unconnected dots

that have been floating around my head this week…..

because frankly sometimes life doesn’t need to have a point!!!

It has come to my attention that every time I post a post my subscribers get a triple whammy of email notifications.

I sincerely apologise for being a spammer.

I really and truly don’t know how to fix that….its a pain I know.

But imagine how I feel!!!!

Knowing that I AM contributing to the overflowingness of people’s email boxes.

( I am working through the shame.)

On Thursday I saw Bailey.

At first, I didn’t realise it was her because she was with a woman I didn’t recognise. But when I stopped and asked if I could say ‘hello’ Bailey went ape-shit climbing all over me. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I was when I realised it was her. My heart was just bursting with love for this tiny little creature that got me back into the world of the living again.

(If ever there was a therapy dog, Bailey was it!)

I haven’t seen her since that unfortunate incident when I nearly poisoned the poor little thing.

Bailey seemed no worse for wear.

(And dare I say it?)

It appears I have been forgiven.

Aren’t animals wonderful that way?

(Sigh, If only humans could be so forgiving.)

I know I have written a couple of poems about trying to ‘love my grey hair’.

(Mmmm…. I feel like I might have failed at that….)

Here in lies the problem.

When my hair is newly washed and down…you can barely see any grey and I love it.

It’s healthy, my original curls are back and

I am sooooooo grateful that I stopped dying it.

The problem is I only wear my hair down 30% of the time and the other 70% of the time when it’s up I feel horrible and OLD with the grey sides.

But I absolutely refuse to start putting chemicals back in my hair.

(It has been a perpetual quandary I tell you!)

And then I found…..

OH MY GOD!!!

This stuff is heaven in a can!

It’s messy as shit

(I’m not going to lie)

But it does the job

(With 4 little sprays!)

It looks 100% natural.

And it lasts for days.

By the time I get to the 4th day of not washing my hair, it has faded and looks like blonde highlights.

So I just wanted to say

(Please note I have not completely given up on loving my grey hair!

It’s a work in progress!!!)

So I reloaded ‘Bumble’, the dating app I have been using. For all you dating novices out there….’Bumble’ is an app that allows you to match…

(AKA both people have swiped that they are interested in each other)

but then only the women can send the first message.

As predicted last week, I had a flurry of matches within the first couple of days.

(Happy Days!!)

I messaged 8 guys that I matched with and

NONE

of them responded back.

NOT ONE!!!

THAT WAS IT!!!!!!

I WAS DONE!

I was fucking done with stupid fucking Bumble!!!

I decided then and there that I was going to find a REPUTABLE dating sight,

pay good money,

and hopefully, start finding men who ACTUALLY wanted to chat with real human beings.

(Déjà vu? Haven’t we been here before? )

Remembering my last disastrous attempt to find a proper dating app a couple of weeks ago, I decided, this time, to do my research on Trustpilot.

It was dismal, to say the least.

Look, I get that running a dating app must be tough….there are a lot of lonely people out there looking for love…so I can only imagine that when that love is not found….people will want to lash out and air their frustrations….

But for the love of God!

Finding love should NOT be this hard!

After reading too many of the complaints, I decided to save my money and stick with Bumble…..

Frankly, because it’s starting to feel like home.

PLUS

A) I love bees.

(Random not very scientifically logical reason)

B) It is free.

C) I don’t feel bombarded with messages from guys that I’m not interested in.

(And then feel guilty when I have to ignore them)

D) Surely somewhere in this bumble asylum are good, authentic men who like me feel a little dazed and confused?

I just need to keep knocking on those asylum doors.

And then miracle of miracles.

My 9th and 10th matches answered back!!!!!!!!!!

(I KNOW!!!!!!!)

I am communicating with two real live men!!!

I have two dates this week.

Number of men messaged: 68

Number of first dates: 3 (+ 2 zoom date)

Number of second dates: 2

This week I have been working at a new school that I have never been to before. Honestly, it is amazing. They have a beautiful playground, equipped with climbing frames, a vegetable garden and an outdoor library and seating area for those children who would prefer not to be running around. The headteacher doesnt allow teachers to use any positive reinforcement rewards like house points, class points or class stickers. The general belief is that children should quite simply behave because they are expected to.

(It’s revolutionary I tell you)

Years ago I landed up in another school that had the same policy and it was absolutely atrocious….the behaviour of the children was appalling and I was completely at a loss as to how I should manage my class.

(I think I might have even written a post about how much I hate it when schools don’t allow positive reinforcement.)

But somehow this school seems to have got it right.

So maybe I was wrong???

Perhaps it can work if it is done the right way…..

Granted I was only in one class this week so it will be interesting to see what other classes are like….

I am back there this coming week…so I shall see.

But it really made me think about how I seem to be seeing more and more schools these days that are doing a pretty good job.

It’s a good feeling and restores a bit of hope in me.