Written 8th of February 2021

Another camp, I’m being sent to stay.

For delinquent adults who’ve lost their way.

Dad’s there again, waiting in the car.

I’m hunting for clothes, near and far.

I’m scared, I’m worried, not sure where to begin?

What clothes should I take?

Will I fit in?

Dad is hooting as he calls to me,

Suddenly he morphs into my brother, I see.

“Come hurry up, we have to go!

You don’t want to be late and miss the show “

I can’t find one earring.

I’m dressed like a bore,

(Like a little old bag lady, what an eye sore!)

My old companion, ‘Shame’ grabs hold of me.

She fills every nook and won’t let me free.

I arrive at the camp, mostly filled with men.

Feeling lost and alone just flood’s me again

“I wasn’t prepared!

I misunderstood!

“What do you mean I had to bring my own food?”

The alarm bell rings.

I wake with a sigh.

So very grateful to kiss that dream goodbye.

Never nightmares or anything that bad,

just a mix of emotions that leave me feeling sad.

I can identify the emotion…

which holds on tight.

My relationship with ‘shame’ is still not right.

Maybe for now all I can do,

Is recognise it as such..

and focus on what’s true.

It is simply an emotion, I cannot foresee.

It will serve me no good to fight it head-on.

To try and quell it.

Label it as wrong.

So I will take a deep breath,

allow it to stay,

hopeful,

that one day shame will quietly go away!