Ok, so I have to share this….
(This is for all my single girlfriends…and my married ‘cheerleader’ friends)
Are you ready for it? Today I gave my number to some random (cute) stranger in Builders Warehouse. 😱
Mortifyingly embarrassing doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings involved…
(ummm…and somehow the process just wouldn’t be complete without me posting the humiliation all over Facebook 😂😂).
But first a little backstory explanation. As a single girl, I have always been a huge fan of online dating. For those people who are past the age of socialising in pubs or clubs…
(for those who have never had any inclination to socialise in pubs or clubs)
…or those that work in predominantly ‘one sex’ orientated environments
(Ever noticed how many unmarried women teachers there are? 😨😢😭)
Online dating is a viable means of meeting people who are in a similar situation to you. So I have always been a huge supporter…nothing infuriates me more than people who knock online dating, especially if they have never actually experienced it or have been lucky enough to meet their significant others in the more traditional way.
Random fact. In 2017, The Knot surveyed more than 14,000 engaged or recently married Americans and reported that 19% of the couples had actually met online. That’s a pretty hefty amount of l❤ve if you ask me. I personally have witnessed many people I know and love finding their spouses online.
(Including my brother a few years ago)
I started online dating in London years ago when one of my best friends
(aka Midget)
saw me doing it and said,” Ooooh, that looks like fun” Her second online date was with Mark
(aka Giant Mark).
Well, how to put this politely ….mmm…let’s just say it’s now been 11 years of me getting absolutely awful Christmas and birthday songs which are sung by the two of them, for yours truly. 🙈🙉
(Their cuteness together as a couple would be somewhat nauseating if only I didn’t love them both so much😎)
So my point is…. I firmly believe in online dating…. I would never, ever discourage anyone from trying it. However, that being said, I came to the realisation ummmm about a month ago, where I had to face the fact that after almost, uhhhum… 12 years of dabbling in it…maybe it’s not going to work for me. Maybe I needed to try something different. Unfortunately, I seemed to be hitting the same problem over and over again, and it was becoming exhausting. I am not going to go into that particular problem right now as I am a big believer of “whatever you give your focus to…becomes your reality”. Hence, I have banned myself from speaking about the aforementioned problem….mmm for 40 days (of course😉) as I wish to banish it entirely from my existence. I have decided that I am never, ever going to have that problem again.🙊👌👍 One day, when I am happily married, however, I will be writing a book on all my online dating experiences
(including my unwanted problem)
and it will be a comedy…..mark my words. 😂
So anyway, what got me re-thinking this whole issue of dating was a couple of things…
a) I watched this Matthew Hussey video
b) I realised that my need not to feel needy or be rejected always stopped me from actually approaching men I found attractive. 💡💡….and it also meant I would sometimes play it a little “too cool” should a guy approach me. I have consequently figured out where and how that “defence mechanism” started years ago….
(but that’s another rather funny story😎😉)
. So I came to the realisation that it was no longer serving its original purpose
(which was to protect my heart)
But instead, it was now blocking my heart. It had to go!🙅🙅🙅🙅
This last month, I have been trying to work on some of the limiting beliefs that so many of us single women have.
Aka: “I never meet any cool men! “
“There are no single men in PE”
” All the good men are married”
We seriously do tell ourselves these things over and over again, and they really do become self-fulfilling prophecies.😣
So I am standing in a builder’s warehouse buying some bolts for my aviation goggles, I am attempting to make for Sunday’s steampunk shoot😜. When I notice a tall good-looking man (with beard👍) counting out like a kazillion
( I seriously had no clue what they were)
Mental thought: “Go on, Gayle….here is your chance to try it….say something intelligent” 🙈
……🤐🤐🤐 I hit a blank.
We both end up waiting for our stuff to be priced, and I finally blurt out something like :
” I hope you are going to use your screws for some real work?
(No, seriously, it was that bad😕)
He was sweet enough to laugh…
(Phewww, not a total disaster).
He said he was building something and asked what I was buying.
Me: “Bolts!!! for my steampunk goggles for a fancy dress party”
(Damn, why didn’t I say a pole dancing photoshoot? Sounds
He finished and left, but we ended up standing in the teller queue together, and I picked up the conversation again….he told me he had just moved down to PE…and didn’t really know that many people.
(I wasn’t sure if that was code for: “I am single!” )
I asked him if he moved here alone. 😌Thank God, the answer was yes. I said he is welcome to find me on Facebook if he likes…..to which he replied that he didn’t have a Facebook account
(Initial thought: “OMG what???😱😱😱 ‘ Afterthought: “Maybe a good thing he won’t be able to read my inner ramblings online” )
We then went to pay, and I wrote down my name and number for him, which I gave him as we met at the door. He stared at it almost in utter disbelief
(I’m feeling like a shameless hussy- while internally cursing Matthew Hussey !!! )
wanting to scream: “I have never done this before, you know !” Seriously, it was more embarrassing than my Toastmasters’ speech and almost as nerve-wracking as writing my first Be Brave post 40-plus days ago. I just want to run to my car.
(“Stay cool, Gayle” )
Me: “In case you get bored and want to meet for a drink one day!
Man X: “Who has time to get bored?”
(Confident Gayle’s Internal dialogue: “Mmmmm,
(Not so confident Gayle, frantic panic: ” Oh nooooo…is it code for ‘I will never have time to see you? 😬)
Decide to listen to confident Gayle!!!
So I am not planning on making it a habit of writing about men…
(Carrie Bradshaw, I am not)
But I do feel this was a monumental feat of bravery 🤗💪on my part….paramount to climbing that stupid wall on Saturday and a healthy 👣step in the right direction. On the off chance, I do actually get a bonified date out of this .👏… I would very much like it to be publicly noted that I have never done that before. That being said …..if no date ensues, then I would also like it to be publicly noted that I will definitely be doing that again! 😁
Ok, I’m done…2more days till my holiday
(sorry I just had to rub that in😂)
Much love
😘🌹❤🐝🕸🌷💐