Approximate reading time: 3 min
16 May 2023
I woke up this morning
feeling a tad blue
Anger and bitterness
seeping right through
So I wrote in my journal
I tried to eek it out
these feelings and emotions
that always cause doubt
In my healing
in my growth
in my ability to cope
these overwhelming emotions
that want to shatter all my hope
****
And I went to fetch Bailey
the love of my soul
and as I watched her walking
I felt a little more whole
As I connect to my body
breathe in fresh air
I found myself feeling grateful
I said a thank you prayer…
For this tiny little creature
whom I adore
Who forces me to get up
and out the front door
****
We reach the canal (I’m thinking)
“Mmmm It’s been a while
since I rescued a creature
Now wouldn’t THAT make me smile!”
And if by magic it seemed
the universe heard my plea
I suddenly had a mission…
(Well, or so it seemed)
Because I noticed a mother duck
and her gorgeous ducklings swim away
from the side of the barge ….
(That’s not a safe place to play….)
‘Cause that’s where they get stuck
between the barge and the wall…
That was where I rescued
poor Gilbert from before
So I walked along the side
of the barge to just check
That no ducklings had been
squashed by the boat’s deck
And low and behold
can you believe
A tiny little duckling
stuck in a tight squeeze
Unable to move
scared and alone….
“Don’t worry little ducky
I’m gonna get you home!!!”
So I picked up the tiny creature
I looked for her mum
surely she’d be around searching
for this tiny one….
missing her baby
not knowing what to do….
mourning the loss
of one of her duckling crew?
Well apparently not
she was already on her way
no pining for her baby
this little lost stray
And I stood there wondering
if I let this thing go….
would she be able to find her mother?
I really didn’t know….
But I took a deep breath
a leap of faith
that ducky would be OK
that she would be safe
And as I lowered her down
she jumped out of my hands
and dived deep into the canal
….OMG you don’t understand
Ducky sank like a rock…
I watched in horror to see….
if Ducky would come up again
to get air and breathe ….
But alas as I scanned
All the water around
Poor little Ducky was nowhere
nowhere to be found…
It appears I sent her
to a watery death…
I left the canals
feeling ever so slightly
more depressed
I’m a duckling murderer
The horror and the shame
this wasn’t what I needed universe…
definitely not today
Did you misunderstand
my earnest plea
Seriously how could you
do this to me?
I am Saint Gayle
saviour of birds
Didn’t you know?
Haven’t you heard?
Why are you messing
with the status quo
This was NOT how the end
Of MY story was supposed to go!
But as I ponder her last thoughts
as Ducky sunk to her demise
I was able to reason
(and slightly rationalise)
That freezing and starving to death
all alone
Would have truly been
a torturous way to go…
At least it was painless
Ducky didn’t have time to be scared
or realise that her beloved mother
had abandoned her there
A small consolation
this I will admit….
Although it still left me feeling
a teeny bit shit
My reputation ruined
just my luck
All I wanted to do
was rescue the dam duck
But I’ve worked through the trauma
I think I’ll survive
(even if poor Ducky
is no longer alive)
Even Saints have bad days
When things don’t go as planned
I’m sure Ducky is in Heaven
And that she’ll understand
