Approximate reading time: 4min
Written 2nd August 2021
I’m all for experimenting
trying new things out
Finding crazy, weird things
To perhaps write about
Like in April last year
During our covid lockdown
Hid away from the world
Not allowed out on the town
I tried something crazy
I stop washing my hair
encouraged by other (perhaps?)
deranged woman out there
It’s called the No-Poo Method
the general consensus being…
leave your hair long enough
it will start to self-clean
Easy peasy
It’s hard to understand why
It took me so very long
to give this one a try
So many videos on utube
woman wh’ve ditched shampoo…
Their hair looks incredible
I longed to join their crew
Visions of my soon-to-be
gorgeous flowing locks
got me through the first month
that was anything but hot
.And then while I was at it
I decided I might as well
take it one step further…
(be a complete rebel)
So, I stopped dying my hair
(an attempt to embrace the real me…)
I was curious to find out
how much grey I would see?
I personally love women
with silver coiffures
They look beautifully elegant
daring and demure
I wanted also
To join the Silver Fox Club
To be happy in my skin
and just fall in love….
…. with me
as myself
with absolutely no pretence
Learn to love my grey
without taking offence…
of what other people think
any judgements that were passed
I’d say
‘This is who I am!“
I’d have the last laugh!
No frizzled orangy hair
when I turn seventy-three
I just want to be healthy
and look like the real me
So that was the plan
(my plans always work out well….)
But not washing your hair
is more disgusting than I can tell
Greasy, slimy, itchy, hair
(I’m sure you don’t need me
to overshare)
But I stuck with it
I didn’t throw in the towel!
I persisted with determination,
(Even though I felt foul)
It involved constant caretaking
of my thoughts all the time…
“You are dirty and repulsive”
they would constantly chime
I’d continually have to tune in
and quietly listen to
My internal mother Galen
wait for her review
It was like this inner war raged
between two polar parts
the viciously unkind critic
and the one with
the loving heart
Now as courageous and brave
….(uhmmm)
as I indeed was
Determined and driven
that I stick with my cause…
I only made it to 6 weeks
Then I found shampoo bars….
Soft on your hair
and NO chemicals
So, I switched to that
and I have to say
I’m so much happier cleaning
my hair this way
My hair is definitely healthier
it’s even curling naturally
but I’m a little in two minds
about the colour I now see
My dream of being
a gorgeous silver fox
was after a couple of months
obliterated and lost
As much as I wish
I was grey everywhere
the only grey I have
is on the side of my head
Two grey streaks
(Funny just like my mum…)
Come on universe what have you done?
My granny was pure white
it was so super cool….
Why didn’t I get the Catton genes
I beg of you
And my natural colour
is dirty mousy brown
It’s honestly not the coolest
colour in town
Quite frankly to surmise
it’s simply just “Bleh”
it’s the colour of an old
dirty brown bear
I just wish I could say
“I absolutely adore it
“Oh-being-all-natural is just
so fucking hip!”
Sigh more work for Galen
(Who for the record has white hair!)
Dam it
I have to say…
Galen has done a good job…
At learning to control
the taunts of
the inner verbal mob
Now it’s been a year and a half
I think I love me more
but I dont love being related
to Cruella Devil
Oh, how I yearn
That deep in my soul
I didn’t need to convince
or quietly cajole
myself continually
of how worthy I am
Fuck it’s hard work this thing…
being a woman!
So, for all those silver foxes,
who rock their grey hair
who claim to love it
and genuinely not care…..
You are my hero’s
I wish I was a little more like
you….
But I might need another 10 years
to join the Silver Fox crew
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