Approximate reading time: 5 minutes
Written the 18th April 2021
I woke up this morning
feeling so light
Free from the anxiety
That has gripped my chest tight
Not one single dream
well not that I remember
Nothing to analyse
(or meticulously dismember)
Just happiness
Relief
I will get through
I have the tools
I know what to do
Gratitude for all
who stand by my side
So overwhelmed with love
I want to cry
“Oh Hello Carys.
Long-time no see
I thought perhaps
you had abandoned me?”
“Don’t be silly
I’m NEVER apart from you
I was just giving space
to allow your other parts through
*****
So, I head out for a massage
my first in months
So lovely to see
so many people out for lunch
It’s like the world is waking up
connecting again
laughing happy people
out meeting friends
Flowers are blooming
beauty everywhere
The first time I noticed flowers
was sometime last year
Seriously, how is that possible?
Where have I been?
How could so much worldly splendour
For so long go unseen?
********
Now I’m sitting on the bus
a frail, old man hobbles on
He has bags in his hands
all the seats are gone
I’m right in the back
I’m too far away
I’m holding my breath
as I’m watching him sway
He walks to a man
to ask if he can sit
As the man shifts
my heart drops like a brick
The bus starts moving
“Be careful his going to fall”
“Help him with his bags!!”
I desperately want to call
He doesn’t fall, thank God
as I straighten out my frown
I’m conscious of my heart thudding,
“Take a breath Gayle
calm down!”
********
‘Oh, look who came in
a lady with an adorable dog
“Get one of those one day!”
I make a mental log
So happy and content
as I’m walking on the street
I’m listening to a new song
my head bops out the beat
Random thought that I think
you really SHOULD know
I need to be in my own music video
Like ‘Lost frequencies
and Zonderling’
Their song “Crazy”
just makes my heart sing
An annoying habit
that I will admit
(It’ll drive my future husband
crazy as shit)
When I fall in love with a song
I will play it on repeat
I can listen to one song
for days and for weeks
So, while listening to my latest
I’m suddenly conscious of the words
Devastation as the realization occurs
Oh my God!
The song is about suicide
losing your best friend
Taking for granted that someone
would be there till the end
Wondering why he never realised
or saw the signs?
If he’d known his friend was struggling
could he have thrown out a lifeline?
Feeling swamped by emotion
for the writer of this song
… for the billions of people
who have lost loved ones…..
I’m suddenly thinking of my parents
and others no longer here
Take another deep breath
wipe away random tears
******
Now I’m walking through a huge park
happy families everywhere
Energy of exhilaration
just floats through the air
I see a mother and two children
a baby and a small child
As she kisses the baby lovingly
the small child glares eyes wild
Aaaah bless a little sadness
seeps into my skin
Having to share your mum…
What a truly horrid thing
Silent prayer
Thank you God
for making me the last child
I never had to experience
that emotional exile!
*******
Oh, look at that stunningly
beautiful jacaranda tree….
Aren’t its lavender flowers exquisite?
I’m so happy to be me
Now I’m not quite sure
What’s the point of this poem
except today I was really conscious
of all that goes on
whose emotions just fly
From happiness to sadness
in the blink of an eye
I see it as well
with my online little girl
the one who gave me the hug
(With all the beautiful curls)
A more sensitive child
I have yet to find
but so unbelievably sweet
and so very kind
She flitters and flutters
from one thought to the next
There are often so many distractions
she constantly seems vexed
“Gayle the dog is barking!”
“I can smell some food!”
“Oh no my pencil is broken
what can I do?”
“Gayle the wind’s blowing
it’s so very strong!”
“Oh, look the sun is coming out.”
“I like my hair long!”
“I love my little brother
look he has come to say hello!”
“Cute babies
make me smile, you know”
“What’s that noise, Gayle?”
“I am feeling a little scared?”
“My tummy is hurting”
“I really like your hair!”
So maybe my point
if your child is an HSP
Please allow their deluge of emotions
to simply just breathe
They really can’t help it
that they’re so easily side-tracked
As they constantly process their emotions
to feel safe and intact
If you have compassion and allow
them their excess thoughts to archive
You will be one step closer
to helping them flourish and thrive
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