Approximate reading time: 5min
We need to talk!
Last Sunday 19 people logged on to read my post.
WTF!!
(That’s like HUGE for me!)
Are you guys trying to kill me?
I am used to 5/6 people a day …if that.
I know I post (almost religiously on Sundays) ….but maybe if you could spread the reading out a bit ….you know like some of you wait 3 days/ 4 days after I post to read it…..????
It’s a good plan don’t you think!
(No, I’m not controlling IN THE SLIGHTEST!)
Just think of my mental health ya’all.
You don’t want to give me heart failure, do you?
Anyway, now that the neurotic freakout is over, let’s move one;-)
So, an update on my dating endeavours.
It appears I am going on real dates.
I have had two in the last month. Both were very ‘nice’ guys.
But I definitely didn’t feel any remote inkling to turn either of them into second dates.
I know.
I know.
I know what you are thinking.
God dam but this chick is fussy!!
(You would be 100% correct)
But never fear my fussiness always pays off….
A couple of nights ago I matched with a guy who shall be named Derren.
Derren was 51 and beautiful.
In every sense of the word.
(Think Denzel Washington beautiful)
From the moment we matched he started sending voice notes.
(Beautiful and brave!)
Derren was originally from Chicago so he had that gorgeous American lilt that I love.
(What can I say I have a thing for accents)
He was playful, witty and we instantly hit it off. I asked him what he did for a living and he said he sent a list a mile long of all the different things he does…an entertainment lawyer, a small business owner and a PUBLISHED writer.
He sent me the links to his new startup company and the two books he has already written.
One of the books was an illustrated poetry book.
OMG, are you kidding me?
The man writes poetry!
(Dare I say it ….I felt slightly intimidated and deliriously excited.)
And he made me laugh.
The only downside was that he currently lives in Germany and was only in London on business for the week and was leaving the next day.
Fuckity Fuck!
(Oh well, I would just have to move to Germany then!)
Other than that minor irritation Derren had my attention.
I found my mind drifting off to THAT post that I will one day write where I get to scream from the rooftops that I have met the love of my life!!! And that all the patience and persistence had paid off.
(Aka My happy ever after post……I think I am looong overdue, dammit all.)
I was trying to keep my imagination in check when I asked Derren why he had decided to move to Germany.
He said that he had wanted to move from the US and there were a couple of options flying around but then eventually his partner decided she really wanted to go to Germany.
‘Sorry, who?????’
Please tell me I didn’t just hear the man of my dreams say he had a partner.
I quickly zipped back to his profile page and saw to my absolute horror those two little words no
single,
hopeless romantic
EVER wants to see
How ON EARTH could the dating app do this to me???
Surely one of the key criteria for NOT matching people together should be:
Excuse me for pointing out the obvious.
But these two ARE NOT the same thing!
You wouldn’t match a heterosexual with a homosexual, would you?
Like how is me wanting to have sex with one person for the rest of myself even remotely compatible with someone desiring to have sex with Daisy, Barbabra AND Penelope!!!
Sadly, I had to apologise to Derren for being a dumbass and not checking his profile properly.
(The disappointment was a killer.)
I asked him if he would consider ditching his current partner and becoming monogamous for me.
He laughed and said “Not a chance”
Fair enough!
(It was a long shot I know, but you can’t blame a girl for trying)
He did say if I ever need advice on publishing my book (one day) he would be happy to help.
(Ahh bless…thank you Derren….I might take you up on that:-)
All in all, it was 45-plus minutes of my life only semi-wasted because I sure as hell had fun.
I am however deeply concerned about my manifestation powers.
I am seriously beginning to think I might have faulty wiring somewhere…..or the universe is having a whale of a time watching me.
I had a look at my last ‘Husband Manifestation’ list and realised I did not put monogamous on it!!
Silly me.
Clearly I brought this on myself!
Oh well, we live and learn;-)
