Approximate reading time: 14 minutes
Before I dive into my story…I just need to say I had an amazing 2 weeks looking after a year 2 class in Harrow. They were the sweetest children; the TA was lovely and the staff were super friendly and helpful.
For the briefest of moments, I thought
“Ahhhhhhh maaaybeeeee I could teach full-time again”
(Then someone mentioned the word ‘staff meeting’ and I was yanked back to my senses:-)
So, I had ummm…. an interesting ‘last day’ of school last week at a different school in West Acton.
As I arrived at the school and walked through the gates, I got that
ominous
sinking
‘OH shit!’
feeling
that I get when I realise that I’ve been to the school before and that ‘No’ I didn’t have a particularly good day there.
I had a vague memory of walking out through those school gates
(Way back when)
thinking
‘Well, I’m never going there again’
And here I was.
(Clearly, I had forgotten to add it to my blacklist of schools)
Standing at the gate was a member of the ‘leadership team‘ who pointed me through to the reception area without so much as a smile or a good morning.
How did I know she was part of the leadership team?
Well, some schools feel the need to embellish their vis -vest with this **VERY SIGNIFICANT** information. It is of utmost importance that the ‘Leaders’ be clearly distinguished from us, normal run-of-the-mill staff.
As I walked into the foyer and I got greeted by the equally unfriendly and dismissive receptionist lady – I suddenly remembered why I hadn’t liked this school the last time I was here.
Frankly, they were just plain rude.
I waited for ten minutes for them to ‘find my booking’ and then I got given the laminated A5 placard with all the school rules and health and safety information on it,
that I needed to wear around my neck the whole day.
‘Sigh’
(I just remembered the second reason I did not like that school.)
There is NOTHING more annoying than trying to lean down to help a child with this monstrosity continually getting caught in their hair or flapping in their faces.
Most schools hand you all this information at the beginning of the day for you to read. I have been doing this job for 6 years and every day I pretend to read the exact same information.
That, I can tolerate.
Wearing it around my neck the whole day, not so much.
(What am I,
5 years old?)
So, finally ready to be ushered into the school, the person who opened the main door for me to enter took one look at me and rather abruptly snapped
“We don’t allow blue jeans in this school”
and then glared at me incredulously
waiting for my response.
I stared back at her and said NOTHING.
(Why is it, that so many people in schools, deem it perfectly ok, to speak down to other staff members like they are children?)
Realising she wasn’t going to be getting the grovelling apology she so desperately expected from me she then barked.
“Didn’t your agency tell you?“
I simply replied:
‘No’
Ahhhhh the good old blue jeans debate
This is how I see it.
I am an independent contractor.
If I were to hazard a guess, I would say a very small minority of London schools have a no-jeans policy these days.
The majority of the schools are happy for their staff to be comfortable and wear what they like. If I am informed by my agency beforehand that no jeans are allowed then I will comply. If I arrive at a school and I am informed POLITELY of their policy I will make a mental note, and comply next time.
But in all honesty, the chances of me going back to that school again are minimal
…..simply because I like wearing blue jeans!!!
God knows, there are enough schools in London that will accept me as I come.
Of course, If it’s a great school that I really love …I will acquiesce.
(Lovely, friendly school trumps comfy blue jeans any day of the week.)
In the 6 years I have been doing this job I have only been informed of the ‘no jeans policy’ about 4 times.
It’s really not such a big deal….until you arrive at a school like this.
Anyway, when grumpy door lady realised that her ‘reprimanding’ was falling on deaf ears she took me to the year 1 class and I was introduced to the 60-plus-year-old teacher and 60-plus-year-old teaching assistant…both of whom, I am pretty sure, haven’t smiled in the last century.
(Internal grimace- It’s going to be one of those days)
The children themselves were truly lovely.
(Aren’t they always)
In fairness to the teacher, she looked exhausted, emotionally drained and like she probably should have left this job a good couple of years ago.
The TA, in my humble opinion, needed to have the carrot surgically removed from her arse.
I just for the life of me CAN’T understand why schools keep so many of these people on?
Shouldn’t actually ‘liking children’ be the number one priority when hiring staff?
But I put on my happy face and soldiered on through the morning.
Besides the fact that Ms Carrot interrupted continually whenever she didn’t feel like I was teaching EXACTLY the same way as the teacher did…it was an OK morning.
Surprisingly enough, her obvious disdain for me didn’t feel personal.
I’m pretty sure she treats most people like that.
I had to smile to myself, thinking about how much I have grown and changed these last couple of years. I thought about my time working with Mrs Shawnigan four years ago, how difficult that period was for me and yet…
Mrs Shawnigan,
BLESS HER,
turned out to be one of my greatest teachers.
She pushed me to the point of just not caring any more.
I know who I am now.
I am friendly and affable and I will greet you with a smile. If you don’t smile back, if you aren’t friendly then that’s absolutely fine…
You do You…..
but I am certainly not going to bend over backwards to try and figure out why you don’t like me or how I can make you like me or waste my time being super nice to you.
These days, I simply match the energy that comes at me.
I have spent too many years trying to be the good girl that ‘loves’ everyone equally.
Frankly, it’s exhausting.
I just don’t have that much love to give, unfortunately.
These days, I save my energy reserve for like-minded people
and
What do you know?
The world is FULL of them.
The irony of this has been the
HUGE REALIZATION
that when I stop fawning over people, when I relinquish my desire to connect, when I let go of that anxious need to ‘fit in’ and be ‘liked’ ….sometimes even the grumpy people soften towards you.
But taking out the expectation of this has been ‘life-altering for me’.
So, I had a good morning.
Ms Carrot was not going to ruin my day.
At lunch time I returned to the class at 1 pm to find out what I would be teaching that afternoon. I found the teacher sitting in the class frantically marking books as if her life depended on it. She seemed reluctant to stop her marking so I said it was fine I would wait until she was finished.
She finally got up to show me the work at 1.20 p. She said that the lesson was just recapping all that they had learnt in history this term and then the children were going to write about it. Their topic was “Great Explorers’ and honestly, I had never even heard of any of the explorers, she was talking about
As she started rambling off random facts about each of the four explorers I had to stop her and say…
“I’m sorry but I am NEVER going to remember all of this – do you have some of this information written down for me please?”
She did not.
She then moved on to the IT lesson that I would be doing afterwards.
(OMG I hate IT lessons)
She initially didn’t even know what they were meant to be doing but then finally figured it out and said
“You will need to show them how to add sound to an online book”
just as the bell went.
The children were lining up.
I was furious.
I now had to teach two lessons blind without even having a chance to prepare or understand what I needed to do.
I was annoyed at her for being so clueless and not having the decency to give me all of this information 30 minutes before when I originally sat down.
BUT
I was more annoyed at myself for not simply requesting that she stop her marking and give me the work so I could prepare properly for the lesson.
(That was my own stupid mistake!)
The teacher said that I would have Ms Carrot in the class so she could help me.
(Lucky me)
I went to fetch the kids and when I got back to class Ms Carrot informed me that she would be helping out in another class.
Great stuff.
I grabbed one of the children’s history books hoping I could gather some information about the explorers from there – but alas NO SUCH LUCK.
So, I resorted to my “Supply-Teacher-Save-The -Day- Plan” which usually works pretty well in situations like this.
It’s simple really.
- I remind myself that I can’t teach what I haven’t been given.
- I remind myself that I can only do my best and if the lesson falls flat then, so be it.
- I remind myself that it’s not the end of the world.
- I would hand the worksheet out to the children and pray to God that they know enough to write something….
(I sincerely doubted it as these were 5/6-year-olds we were talking about)
So, I briefly went over the worksheet, told them what they needed to do and sent them to their tables.
And then I held my breath.
As predicted…most of them knew nothing.
(Can I just add, that the volume of work that 5/6-year-olds are expected to retain, in some schools, these days is just bloody ridiculous!
How I
WISH
we could teach ‘less’ and ‘better’ than OVERLOADING THEM WITH ‘more’.
But that’s another whole rabbit hole)
And it was at that point that Ms Carrot magically reappeared in the class.
She saw that the kids were struggling and asked me with utter contempt if I had gone over and revised all the work that they had learnt to refresh their memory.
Oh, what?
Do you mean the past terms work that I have NOT taught them?
I replied
“No, I did not”
(Although I was starting to feel mildly dysregulated- so maybe in fairness I snapped “No I did not!”)
I pointed out that I hadn’t taught them this work so it was a little hard to revise what I didn’t know myself
She then said:
“Well, it’s your job as a supply teacher to be able to think on your feet and be prepared for these situations”
(Oooooooh she did NOT just say that to me!!!!!!
Being a supply teacher does not mean that I come fully downloaded with the syllabus of every London school)
I told her that I hadn’t been given ANY time to prepare for the work.
(OK, OK, okaaaaaaaay
That’s not totally true…I had allowed my people-pleasing part to put the teacher’s need to finish marking her books before my need to be prepared for the lesson.
I was indeed partly to blame….but I was not about to admit that to Ms Carrot.)
She then turned to the class and called them all back to the carpet so that she could
‘Teach them properly’
OMG, I was so bloody angry.
The nerve of this woman.
I sat down at the desk, feeling like a 5-year-old who had been reprimanded
and just continued to remind myself to breathe.
Her revision of the terms work largely included her asking the children questions about the 4 explorers and then not being able to confirm or deny if their information was indeed right or wrong –
because she didn’t know either.
It was a joke.
When they finally got sent back to their tables, they were honestly none the wiser.
Ms Carrot then approached me and said that she would be teaching the IT lesson that afternoon as well.
I said that it was ok and that I was more than capable of doing it, but she insisted.
So, I relented reluctantly.
(The only thing keeping me going was knowing that I was going to report her rude,
controlling, condescending arse at the end of the day.)
And then she tried to teach the IT lesson.
It was the best 40 minutes of my week.
Retribution is truly beautiful.
Ms Carrot had NO IDEA what she was doing.
She fumbled her way around the screen, not knowing where anything was and a couple of times, I had to jump in to show her. She kept the kids, on the carpet for 40 minutes, which was WAY too long for that age and they were all bored out of their skulls.
Ms Carrot taught a pretty shit lesson really.
When she finally dismissed the kids she feebly mumbled her apologies and said something about how she had been
“Learning on the spot.”
It took every inch of my restraint not to say:
Welcome to my life EVERY SINGLE day!!!!!
But I said nothing.
She had inadvertently proved my point…
It’s never easy teaching a lesson that you haven’t had time to prepare.
I walked out of that school on Friday smiling to myself.
Yes, I had got a little dysregulated and flustered at one point,
but I hadn’t cried and I had ‘mostly‘ stood my ground.
These days when I have experiences with difficult TA’s like this, I usually make a point of reporting it at the end of the day…both to the head teacher and my teaching agency.
I do this because:
a) I am so sick and tired of these types of people getting away with this sort of shitty behaviour.
b) To protect my own arse….because 9/10 times difficult people will end up spinning their own version of the truth.
You just gotta cover your back!
The 3 to 4 times I have reported someone it has usually resulted in some form of affirmation from the head teacher that
“Yes, that particular person is often difficult”
and that
“Yes, there have been several complaints made about them already.”
On Friday I didn’t say anything…
I was tired and I just wanted to go home.
On the way home I got a call from my agency.
True to form,
a complaint had been made about me from the school.
Apparently, I was unable to teach the class and the teaching assistant had to take over the lessons.
I informed my agent about what had really happened and he responded with.
“Don’t worry I will let the school know
I know you are a good teacher.
I’ve got your back Gayle”
(Aaah isn’t that nice)
The next day I got a message from him saying that the headteacher had responded back and that she had said
“Considering who the TA was, who had made the complaint, I am not the least bit surprised.”
My shiny reputation was once again restored.
Lessons learnt:
- Speak up and claim the time you need to prepare!
- You are paid to teach DO NOT allow anyone to bully you into submission next time.
Written 8th April 2022
Lucky Mr Robin
A beautiful
Red-breasted
Robin stares at me
As I sit in my garden
It watches curiously
I sit gazing back
Light suddenly dawns
I’ve seen this particular bird
A couple of times before
In the last 2 weeks
I’ve seen Mr Robin four times
I’ve never seen one before then
OMG, it’s a sign!
I chuckled to myself
As I thought about
The most ridiculous rom-com
I watched last night
About signs in the universe
How we need to be aware
Of the secret messages
Mother Nature wants to share
I’ve seen Robin twice in the garden
In the exact same place
So, universe what deep message
Do I need to embrace
Not fluent in speaking
Mother-natures tongue
I pull out my phone
(Google will get the job done)
Google will help me to decipher
Help me to see
What magic message
Mr Robin’s bringing me
“Robin is a heavenly sign
Of optimism and joy
As you leave your past behind
New beginnings deploy
Seen as a sign from our deceased
Reaching out to say
Have faith in your abilities
This is a new day
As you rejuvenate your life
Learn to embrace change with a smile
Don’t be afraid of the unknown
Life is so beautifully fertile
Learn to live in faith
With an open heart
Hold on to perseverance
We all play our own part
You’ll have good fortune
If Robin visits you frequently
You’ll be transformed as you start
To believe in your own abilities”
GOD-DANG-IT!
I’ll take it
I’ll take it all
Thank you Google Universe for my message
I’ll treasure it for sure;-)