Approximate reading time: 2 min
Written 24th April 2021
Duck Boy
I have something pivotal
that I need to express
I’m allergic to dating
I feel I must confess
When it comes to dating
my patience is gone
I am so fucking exhausted
to even think of ‘the one’
But I said ‘yes‘ to a friend
who wanted to set me up
I didn’t really want to
I have enough in my cup
But I said yes because I’m kind
I didn’t have the heart to say
“Thank you for caring
but I’m actually OK”
I honestly have no desire
within me anymore
to look for a man
or knock on any doors
This won’t be forever
my time will come
But for now I’m just happy
learning to love one
So, I said yes BUT PLEASE
make sure he calls
I have zero tolerance
for text messages at all
I’ve wasted years of my life
messaging men
only to be disappointed
when I finally met them
My time is so precious
I have so much to do
Please don’t expect me
to entertain you too
Be brave!
Pick up the phone
genuinely connect
For me it’s an old-fashioned
sign of respect
So, she assured me yes
he would DEFINITELY CALL
It was 10:20 pm
when I got the first text from Paul
“Hey this is Paul
I’m Danny’s friend!”
Oh, good Lord
Nooooo
here we go again
One thing I have learnt
about myself after all these years
I’m an alpha female
(despite all the tears)
I have no problem making
the initial first move
Picking up the phone
sending a message or two
But I’m so tired of feeling
like I always need to take control
Initiating things while
I lacklustre condole
If conversation was a game of tennis
that message was a ‘net ball’
Nothing about it leaves me
even the slightest bit enthralled
Did I mention his profile picture
was a cartoon duck?
all I can say is
WHAT THE FUCK?
(Come on now Gayle
keep an open mind!
you don’t want to be single
when you are 49!)
I message that I was
working the very next day
but it would be lovely to chat
in the evening I say
He messages that his whole weekend
is completely full up
But of course
no time to chat
but ALWAYS time to watsap…
And that’s about where
my patience cut off
Neurotic Angel screaming
“And this is why you are single of course”
But it’s too late I’m already irritated
I want him to go away
I have much better things
that I can do with my day
Like writing this poem
Which brings me so much more joy
Than sitting and texting
some random duck boy