Approximate reading time: 2 min

Written 18th March 2021

Today I’m proud

I’m so proud of me

Please allow me a moment

to gloat with glee

Today I spoke up

I made a choice

Rather than keeping quiet

I used my voice

It felt pretty amazing

to be honest, take a chance

rather than continuing with the

“I’m fine”

dance

“This is who I am, this is me

I struggle a lot with anxiety”

Such a simple thing

it’s not such a big deal

But its never been easy

to be honest about how I feel

No sooner than the words

came out of my mouth

Than an image of Neurotic Angel

began prancing about.

“What the fuck!?

Don’t say that!

You sound so weak!

Like some kind of Xanax

pill-popping freak!”

But today I was grateful

my internal mother stepped in

she held the space

kept me grounded in my skin

“You can say how you feel

you will always have that right

Everyone has struggles

they try keep from the light”

It got me thinking of the image,

the part that I play

that precious image

that has held fast to this day

Put together

outgoing

confident

and

fun

(Eager to please

dreading being shunned)

My writing

on the other hand

a safe way to express

the other sides of me

that are so often a mess

I’m noticing more how I’m showing up

being seen

As I learn to drop the guard

lower the screen

Embracing vulnerability

admitting my flaws

feels way healthier than keeping

everything locked behind doors

I am slowly opening

up letting fresh air in

Learning to be comfortable

in my own skin

I’m not responsible for how

other people view me

The only thing I care about

is my authenticity

So, in this very moment

I’m flying incredibly high

there’s nothing more beautiful

than clear blue sky

Floating in acceptance

of the all of me

Feeling so whole

so wonderfully free