Approximate reading time: 2 min
Written 18th March 2021
Today I’m proud
I’m so proud of me
Please allow me a moment
To gloat with glee
Today I spoke up
I made a choice
Rather than keeping quiet
I used my voice
It felt pretty amazing
To be honest and take a chance
Rather than perpetuating
the
“I’m fine”
dance
“This is who I am
This is me
I struggle a lot
With anxiety”
Such a simple thing
It’s not such a big deal
But it’s never been easy
To be honestly own how I feel
No sooner than the words
Came out of my mouth
My defiant Neurotic Angel
Began to shout
“What the fuck!?
Don’t say that
You sound so weak
You are not some kind
Of Xanax popping freak!”
But today I was grateful
My internal mother stepped in
She held the space
Kept me grounded in my skin
“You can say how you feel
You will always have that right
Everyone has struggles
They try keep from the light”
It got me thinking of the image
The part that I play
That oh so precious image
That’s held fast to this day
‘Put together‘
‘Outgoing‘
‘Confident‘
and
‘Fun‘
(Eager to please
Dreading being shunned)
My writing
On the other hand
A safe way to express
The other sides of me
That are so often a mess
I’m noticing more
How I’m showing up and being seen
As I learn to drop the guard
To lower the screen
Embracing vulnerability
Admitting my flaws
Feels so much healthier
Than barricading behind closed doors
Slowly opening up
Letting fresh air in
Learning to be comfortable
In my own skin
I’m not responsible for how
Other people view me
The only thing for which I care
Is my own authenticity
So, in this very moment
I’m flying incredibly high
There’s nothing more beautiful
Than clear blue sky
Floating in acceptance
Feeling whole
Feeling loved
Feeling so wonderfully free
