Approximate reading time: 2min Written on the 4th July 2021 I’m done playing games Always trying to be nice A narcissist’s mood is like rolling a dice Never quite sure What you’ll get on each throw One day they love you The next day maybe no It’s exhausting trying Not to take it to heart …
Category: Poetry
How hard?
Approximate reading time: 6 min Written 1st July 2021 It’s been a horrible week Triggering so much shame Dealing with a toxic parent who is so quick to blame I wish I had the courage to call her on her shit To stand up for myself put a stop to this But alas that’s not …
So much for honesty
Approximate reading time: 10min Written the 25th June 2021 I was offered this reception job On a full-time contract Finally paid for the summer holidays (Fantastic! Imagine that!) After ten long years of being self-employed A regular pay check I was overjoyed Absolutely elated things were finally on track Except for one tiny minuscule, little fact …
Rage in my jaw
Written the 19th June 2021 I woke up this morning I lay awake Willing myself a fresh start to make Conscious now a fundamental shift in me Not so tormented by dreaded anxiety Except for the last two weeks (since my wrathful birthday poem) Fury, anger and rage will not leave me alone It’s like …
Manic Monday
Approximate reading time: 10 min I have a confession to make. When I posted my “I’m sooooo happy post” last Monday I had pretty much had the worst day teaching I have had in just over a year. (It was horrible) All I needed to do was come home and proofread my post, one last …
See a man about a ball
Approximate reading time: 5 min Written 11 June 2021 I walked home today in a thunderstorm with no umbrella (No, that’s not usually the norm) Just feeling so peaceful happy and contained Loving the sensation of the gentle summer rain So grateful to be alive to have a place to call home to have friends …
Happy anniversary (Me!)
Approximate reading time: 7 min I hope you are all well:-) Today is the one-year anniversary of me posting a blog post every week (at least) for a full year. (It may not seem like that big a deal to most people but for me it’s huge!!) It’s only taken 13 years of intermittent blogging …
Holiday Blues
Approximate reading time: 2 minutes Written 5th of June 2021 My birthday celebration a weekend away A riverside cabin and all I feel is grey . Enveloped in sadness all I want to do is cry I am sitting here wondering Why, fucking why? Why do holidays always trigger so much grief What is the …
Weekend Away
Approximate reading time: 4min Written the 4th June 2021 A gorgeous cabin in New Forest for the weekend my first holiday EVER away with my best friend I should feel happy, excited to finally be getting away by the time I boarded the train I felt nothing but dismay Completely overwhelmed drowned by anxiety OMG …
Gaslighting yourself
Approximate reading time: 4 min I have had a pretty good week. Dare I say it…..??? ….but it feels like I am starting to land up at some lovely schools these days….. Maybe the schools are better or maybe I am just a bit tougher in myself and not reacting as much, as I used …