Approximate reading time: 12 minutes
This week has been amazing and terrible all at once:-)
Let’s get the terrible out of the way.
Sometimes I’m not quite sure if I am brave and keep pushing my boundaries or just plain stupid and keep crossing my boundaries.
(It’s such a fine line you know!)
After deciding that I would never, ever dog sit any big dogs EVER again… I met a really lovely South African couple at the dog park and agreed to dog sit Dexter, their Alsatian.
I know, I know….what was I thinking?
(Mmmm let me see…..
”Ahhh what a lovely South African couple….we are practically family…but yes of course I can do it for you!”)
Now in fairness to Dexter – he is beautiful!
(This moan is not about Dexter – it’s all about me!)
I was going to stay with Dexter for ten days. Dexter’s parents asked If I wouldn’t mind taking him for his doggy playdates on Saturdays and Sundays. He usually meets his best buddy, Whisky, at the park up the road and apparently, they love roughhousing together.
Sure, I could do that!
So we set off for the park last Saturday, which according to google maps was 8 minutes away, and then I spent 40 minutes trying to find the bloody place.
As I am walking there it suddenly dawns on me that there are going to be lots of other dogs there and Dexter’s parents had asked me to take him off-lead.
(It baffles me why I thought, in my mind, that this would be a lovely doggy park for Whisky and Dexter to play together in, alone.)
What was I thinking?
Dog walking Rule NO 1:
(That I learnt the hard way last year)
Never take a new dog off-lead until you know them well enough and you have developed good recall with them.
When I initially expressed my concern about this to his parents, they reassured me that he pretty much stays with Whisky and they play together, so he would be fine.
(And I rather naively took that at face value.)
I eventually arrived at the park annoyed, flustered and mildly overstimulated.
(I had kept Whisky’s mummy waiting for 30min)
I was then absolutely horrified when I saw how fucking HUGE this park was!
A park filled with lots and lots and lots of off-lead dogs!
When I found Whisky and his owner, they were busy playing with about 8 other big dogs. I mentioned to her, that I felt really anxious about taking Dexter off-lead, and she reassured me that he would be fine.
They do this every week.
So I took Dexter off-lead and he ran excitedly to say hello to his dear friend Whisky.
No sooner than he entered the circle than one of the other dogs started growling and snapping which then set them all off….within a couple of seconds we had a large pack of very angry dogs all snapping and snarling at each other and an influx of owners running to try and grab their dogs.
Unfortunately, it was a little too much for me and my nervous system and I burst into tears
and ran in the other direction!
(I didn’t sign up to be mauled to death by BIG dogs!)
Once I managed to calm my slightly embarrassed self-down,
at a distance…..
(With Whisky’s owner looking at me rather weirdly)
…I then spent the next 10 minutes doing my best to catch Dexter who was having an absolute whale of a time running around this huge field.
The whole time Dexter’s parent’s words are echoing through my mind:
“Watch out for pugs he’s not a huge fan of those dogs”
(Was it just my imagination or are there pugs EVERYWHERE on this bloody field!)
When i eventually managed to catch him, I made sure to keep him on the lead with my NO. 1 Dog rule now beautifully cemented in my brain.
A little while later Whisky’s mum gave both dogs some water which they shared beautifully. Another dog that had been playing with both of them ran over to have a little sip and Dexter, it seems, doesn’t like sharing. He snapped at the dog and then pretty much left it….but Whisky,
(Being the good, loyal buddy that he is)
decided to take it upon himself to exact vengeance for his friend and attacked the other dog. Luckily both owners managed to separate them and it was nothing too serious but by then my nervous system was shot to hell and gone.
What was I thinking?
I don’t do big dogs!
(Give me a needy, winey little ankle biter ANYDAY!)
So, I resolved for the rest of the week that poor Dexter would need to stay on his lead.
Which if I am honest, he hated.
(Wouldn’t you?)
To make this job even more fun there was a construction site next door to the apartment that had a crane-like excavator digging up dirt pretty much 24/7.
Now I know what you are thinking…surely this CAN’T be legal Gayle?
Well, it IS NOT!
The law states that building work in public areas and on construction sites in the UK must be in accordance with the 1974 Pollution Control Act, which aims to protect the public against noise pollution as well as air pollution. This act limits noisy work to between 8 am and 6 pm from Monday to Friday.
After my first night of pretty much lying awake the whole night
I decided to make a complaint to the council.
I was very impressed that the council’s noise inspector actually came down to inspect the situation and I got to meet the lovely foreman of the construction sight.
(Seriously what a nice guy- it’s very hard to stay annoyed at people when they are so sweet and amicable)
Apparently, they have a permit to run the crane outside my bedroom window 24/7 because this is a nationwide project.
I have no idea what that means?
Quite frankly I don’t give a shit!
What annoys the bejeebers out of me is how you can have laws to protect the public’s right to peace and quiet in their own home but then you can apply for permits to break those laws. The lovely foreman guy did tell me that they have noise sensors to detect if they go over the amount of noise that they are allowed to make. And according to their sensors, they are under the noise limit.
(Good to know!
I’m glad your little sensor contraption has deemed your 350-ton digger as NOT NOISY!
Do you want to come upstairs and experience the noise for yourself?)
If I could have bitten him, I would have,
except he was so dam sweet!
I love my sleep.
I need my sleep.
I don’t function well without my sleep.
I spent the whole week sleeping on the couch wishing I was at home in my lovely quiet room in my lovely comfortable bed.
So physically this week has been draining….
And the fact that poor Dexter spends most of his time staring out the window or looking at me forlornly has not helped.
(I thought Bailey was good at making me feel guilty- alas Bailey is but an amateur who falls asleep way too easily compared to Dexter)
I have been very conscious of the fact that this poor dog got the short end of the stick this week….he needed one of those dog walkers that loves nothing more than taking dogs on 3-hour walks….
(Lol Infact he needed my best friend Rachel….SHE LOVES WALKING FOR HOURS!)
Unfortunately, Dexter got me!
OMG
Hold on a second!
I just realised something
This is all Rachel’s fault!
A couple of months ago I wanted to paint her inner child for her…..
Rachel’s inner child had an imaginary Alsatian that she used to dream about owning.
Rachel manifested this Alsatian except he came to meeeeee!!!
Clearly, Rachel’s manifestation powers are still a bit wonky.
(I will need to have words with her about this!)
Moving on….
(No my rant is NOT done!)
Lastly, did I mention the fact that this building was designed by some ‘bright spark’ who thought having windows that you could actually open was not a necessity? The entire flat has one window in each room that opens up about 10cm.
That’s it!
This is not a flat it is a live-in sauna!
I woke up yesterday morning, achy and hot, on my not-so-comfy couch wondering how I was going to survive another 4 days of this!
Then I got a message from the owners saying that their plans had changed and that they were very sorry but they would be coming back earlier, ie like that VERY DAY!
(Oh nooooo do you mean my services will no longer be needed and I could go home?)
Thank you Universe!
Lessons learnt:
- NO BIG DOGS EVER!
- No new dogs off leash EVER!
- No houses next door to construction sights
- Check the basic functionality of all windows…ie Do they freak’n open?
Got it!!!
Ok now to the good part of the week!
(Apologies it’s gonna be short and sweet)
This week we had lectures with Clark Baim who is a psychotherapist and co-author of Adult Attachment Strategies.
Listening to him talk was just amazing.
His knowledge about attachment strategies and his compassion and empathy for ALL humans
(No matter what their strategies)
was just so lovely to be around. It is truly amazing what a really good teacher can inspire in you. I just found myself feeling so infused with hope and gratitude for this road that I am on…..I love learning about attachment, I love starting to understand my own strategies and figuring out why it is I react in certain ways. The more I learn, the more compassion I seem to find for myself….and the easier it gets to write about myself and my experiences.
Hell, I am even proud of how I handled this week….even though I was physically a bit of a mess I managed to keep hold of my emotional sanity.
One of my absolute favourite things that Clark said was that the difference between people that use the secure B strategy and people that use the insecure A and C strategies is that the people with the B strategies have more reflective functioning. It’s not to say these types don’t get anxious and stressed but that they are more able to recognise their different emotional states. They are aware of when they are getting triggered and can usually recognise when they might be hooking into an unhealthy strategy and then they do what is necessary to try and calm themself, in healthy ways.
They are thinking about cause and effect and they and they realise that they have the power to change things.
Well, no one analyses, re-analyses or overthinks more than me! 😉
Confirmation for me that I might actually be on my way to earned- secure status
Ps This might not be every bodies cup of tea but I thought I’d add it….(just incase someone somewhere is interested;-) At 26 minutes into this video Clark provides you with a little bit of self-reflection into what strategies you might be using.