What WOULD Einstein think?

Approximate reading time: 6 min

It’s amazing how a looming prison sentence can breathe life into you forcing you to ‘carpet diem‘ with an inordinate amount of zest and zeal.

It’s been a busy week… frankly, I’m exhausted….I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.

(Ummmm am I allowed to take breaks between my dating escapades ???)

So far, I have messaged 20 guys so that makes me about 1/3

(and a bit)

almost finished with my challenge.

I have had 3 dates and I went to a lock and key party last night with 300 eagerly seeking singles.

Please note: A lock and key party is not a sex party!

(As I had to explain to my therapist …

honestly…does the man know me at all ???)

No, I am not a S.e.x A.d.d.i.c.t. or a swinger.

It is far less exciting.

The women get locks and the men get keys.

The idea is you are supposed to move around the room while encouraging the ‘random shoving of keys’ into your lock in the hopes that you would find a match.

Last time I had 5 matches and still went home single.

(What can I say it brought out my competitive side)

I’m not sure why I booked it really?

It’s not particularly my idea of fun.

Vague memories from last time, something to the effects of:

“Phew, I’m NEVER doing that again!”

But a couple of months ago I promised to start dating in March so I was spurned on by some misguided belief that I needed to make good on my online promise.

Heaven, forbid I let down my subscribers

So, I booked a ticket.

(The people pleaser in me lives on)

It was about as much fun as it was last time.

(Maybe a little less.)

(It’s written in BLACK AND WHITE so I don’t forget!!)

I think I might finally be ready to draw a line underneath my nightclub/pubbing days.

I am pleased to report that I had two perfectly great first dates this week, with two very different, but equally lovely men.

Both of which lasted longer than 17 minutes!!

(This is indeed a great achievement for me.)

It appears I might be having second dates with both of them this week.

SECOND DATES!!!!!

Please note I am not a floozy!!

What I am attempting to do, as already explained last week…..is not put all my man eggs in one basket too soon.

That’s what I have always done…..

Jump in heart first, way too fast without taking time to actually get to know the person first.

So I am attempting to change that.

(It’s very hard, you know)

By nature I am a one/man girl.

I wish I could say it’s been all flowers and roses but my anxious avoidant anxiety has been through the roof this week. Most nights, I have been waking up at 3 am ish, lying there for hours worrying about GOD knows what.

Frankly, I feel like a ‘Red flag‘ Ninja when I date.

(Yes I realise I have trust issues!

Why do you think I have been single for 7 years!)

Like why can’t we just be given a dating script?

….so I can read the ending and know if this is going to work?

Luckily my lovely therapist,

(Who does actually know me incredibly well;-)

Is continually on hand to remind me:

“You are dating Gayle….

it takes time to get to know someone…

Just enjoy it!”

(Which is polite therapist speak for:

“Good grief women it’s only been a week, get a grip!”)

Luckily he is kind and cares about me so he always words it beautifully.

Got it!!!

Moving on….I’m going to use all this manic, anxious dating energy to have a good moan!

(Cause frankly I feel better when I do!)

(Writing my blog posts is like going to AA meetings for one)

Sadly, it has come to my attention that I am just as judgemental as I have always been when it comes to dating apps.

I had hoped that my 7 years of being single would have awoken a calmer, more peaceful, serene and all-around-accepting human being.

But alas, it has not.

Apparently, the same things annoy the shit out of me as they always used to.

Go figure

(Plus a few new extras just for fun )

And

YES

you are going to hear all about them because you logged onto this blog all by yourself …

NO ONE held a gun to your head;-)

(I have decided to order them according to how much they annoy me.)

I don’t care how good-looking you are if you can’t string together 2 simple sentences to describe who you are ….I’m bored already.

If every single one of your profile pics is a selfie then I’m very sorry you don’t have any friends who could take a photo of you.

(And no I’m not volunteering for the position.)

If you are a grown-arsed MAN and feel the need to tell me your pronouns are he/him.

(Granted this is a new one)

Then I am not interested.

No, that doesn’t make me a transphobe.

If your pronouns are different to your sex then by all means MAKE THAT KNOWN.

However, I fundamentally disagree with the expectation that every other human in the world needs to um…state the obvious. I have no need for any man who is pandering to the hysteria that has taken over the world.

(Fucking hell I needed to get that out!!! )