So, believe it or not, I am currently taking part in a medical drug trial.
I almost gave a couple of friends heart failure when I told them I was planning on doing this. But here I sit, day four of the trial, and I am pleased to report I am still very much alive and, so far, completely symptom- and side-effect-free.
(Granted I still have 12 months of regular monitoring to go… But let’s stay positive, please. 😉 )
I signed up with a clinical research center about 7 months ago.
My reasons were twofold:
My deeply heartfelt reasons:
Maybe it’s crossing the halfway mark to 50?
Maybe it’s trying to come to terms with not having children of my own to focus all my attention on?
But these days I seem to have this insatiable desire to contribute something… good Lord, ANYTHING to the world. Over the last 6 months, I have applied to volunteer at numerous charities in a desperate attempt to scratch this itch. Half of them I never heard back from; the other half only accept volunteers during the working week.
What’s up with this shit?
What about us humans who actually have jobs?
As much as I want to give back to the world, I most certainly can’t afford to cut down my already meager salary to do it.
(I am most certainly not THAT magnanimous)
I then decided that I would start giving blood regularly.
Little-known fact: My grandfather, Wiltse Arnott, donated blood 225 times during his lifetime. He even received an award for giving the most blood in the Cape Province.
I was determined that I would follow in his footsteps.
(Admittedly, I might have left this a little late…
In the UK, women can only donate blood every 16 weeks, which means I need to live another 67.6 years to reach my 225-donation target and get my award.
That awkwardly pushes my desired death age from 108 to 118…
But it’s doable….I think.)
I arrived at Westfield Shopping Center eager for my first appointment. I had to ask one of the security guards if he knew where the blood donation center was. His eyes lit up with admiration as he said,
“Wow, that’s so cool that you’re giving blood. We need more people like you.”
I felt my chest puff up ever so slightly…
(I know, I know… I’m such a good person.)
(Sigh. My ego is strong.)
(Note to self: Speak to my therapist about excessive need for external validation)
I arrived at the blood donation center only to be informed by sullen and super unfriendly blood-taking person that because I’d had wet cupping done the week before, I wouldn’t be able to donate blood for another six months.
Oh, for fuck’s sake!
Random but completely related information: I struggle a lot with knee pain. In February last year, they were so incredibly painful I could barely walk. One night after work, I wandered into a Hijama clinic and tearfully asked if they did acupuncture. The lady there suggested that I try ‘wet cupping’ instead. I had no idea what it was, but I was in so much pain I would have tried anything at that point. Basically, wet cupping is an ancient Chinese and Islamic tradition where tiny cuts are made on the skin, and then the area is covered with suction cups that draw blood out.
I was horrified as I watched my knees turn into one hell of a bloody mess.
( It seriously was not a pretty sight.)
And then 45 minutes later I walked out of that clinic completely pain-free.
That is the closest to a miracle I have EVER experienced.
(And there was no praying involved)
These days my knees flare up once or twice a year, and I am so grateful that I have discovered wet cupping for when they do.
Hence, the moral of this detour is to say:
I will not be giving up my wet cupping FOR anything!!
I left Westfields feeling slightly deflated and slunk out a completely different exit to avoid previously mentioned security guard!
Now I can’t even give blood?
How hard is it to be a good person these days?
My blood-donating record shattered before it had even begun; I then decided to sign up for medical trials.
This was partly spurred on by doing my master’s and realising what an arduous task finding participants for my own research was. It made me realise just how important volunteers are to medical research.
I mean, where on earth would we be these days without these brave guinea pigs who were willing to risk it all for the betterment of MANKIND?
So I subsequently decided….
I AM BRAVE!
(Or stupid, feel free to pick your side)
But of course, then there was also the other wildly
Materialistic reason:
I need to pay off my student loans, and selling my body
(without sex)
sounded like a perfectly reasonable way to do that 😊
So, during the holidays, when I got a call asking if I would be interested in being screened for a study, I jumped at the chance.
£75 just for 3 hours of my time.
Sign me up, Scotty.
The study was aimed at finding people who had Factor V Leiden.
Factor V Leiden is basically a genetic mutation that means your blood is a little more likely to clot than it should. Most of the time, people with it are completely fine, but it can increase the risk of things like deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary embolisms and other blood-clotting problems.
Payment for taking part in the full study was £5,000… but never in a million years did I think I might actually get in…
(I mean, I am never THAT lucky. 😉 )
About a week later, when I got the call back, my instant excitement turned to sudden panic.
OMG NOOOOOOOOO!
What’s a girl to hope for?
£5000 or healthy genes?
And what do you know… as it so happens, I am part of the 3–8% of the Caucasian population
who have this gene mutation.
(it’s much less common in other ethnic groups, at about 1-2%)
Don’t worry, there is lots of good news.
I am super healthy and have a high probability of remaining as such. 90 to 95% of people who have Factor V Leiden remain healthy and never develop any blood clots… and lest we forget, at the end of all of this I will be £5,000 richer less in debt.
It has been an interesting experience, to say the least.
To take part in the study, my BMI needed to be 25 (81.3kg), which is in the healthy range for my age and height. I consequently had to lose 1.9kg before I was even eligible to take part. I weighed 91kg at the beginning of the year and lost most of it with my new weekly dancing routine.
But damn, those last 2kg have been hard to shift.
I have to say, it’s pretty incredible how easy it is to lose 2kg when everything ‘junk-food-related’ suddenly comes with a £5,000 price tag!
My friend Jay and I also spent one to two hours walking, 4–5 times a week, during the summer holidays.
(God bless those friends who support you in your insanity! ❤️)
So, I feel good, and I think I have a lot to be grateful for.
I am officially at a healthy human weight.
(I haven’t been this skinny for years.)
I’m beyond grateful that I even found out about Factor V Leiden. Knowing that I have this means I can be more proactive about keeping myself safe – and that feels great.
Today I was chatting to the doctor running the study, and she was really excited about how well it’s going. Apparently, I’m the 46th human they’ve trialled it on so far, and she said that, up until now, no one has experienced any negative side effects. If this drug works as well as they hope, it would be a much safer option than the currently used blood thinners that can often have serious bleeding as a side effect.
I’m genuinely happy that I can play a tiny part in helping with something that could potentially benefit people in the future.
My ego has been placated.
(for now)
Thank goodness,
I am a good human. 😉