To be fair, I haven’t been dating much these last couple of months. Frankly, I have been a little sick of it, and swiping left has pretty much been the daily norm.
Nope
No
Nope
No
Good God Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
My last date about a month ago lasted approximately ….umm, 10 min.
It was awkward as shit – a young 35-year-old guy – who had this weird passive-aggressive energy that was just creepy as hell. It felt like everything I said was turned into something he could challenge. He didn’t even sit facing me – he sat with his back against the wall, only glancing over at me at random intervals.
I swear to God, it was like I was suddenly possessed.
My body stood up, I picked up my bag, and the words came out:
“Sorry I have to leave!”
All I heard from him was:
“Woooooow”
To which I responded:
“This feels way too uncomfortable”
And I left.
(I thanked my body when I got home.)
After that I kind of decided that I was now officially done with online dating!
(If I had a £100 for the number of times I have declared those exact words on this blog over the last 15 years)
(Let’s just take that with a huge pinch of salt please).
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been to two comedy shows
(by myself)
and I have been doing a shitload of dancing.
(Which I love)
I just want to enjoy my life minus the frustrations of dating.
The only problem being I still had one more paid token on the app that I needed to use up. This bloody token has been used to book four dates – all of which have cancelled.
I was beginning to curse that token.
So last night, having spent an inordinate amount of time prepping and preening – I set off for my date with Gav. I was about 10 minutes away from the venue when I noticed that he had sent me a message on the app about an hour beforehand.
(On Breeze – the chat box opens 4 hours before your date.)
He sent me a message telling me how much he was looking forward to our date and then apologising for not messaging earlier and telling me his mother was in hospital.
I saw all shades of red.
How many family emergencies do men need to have on my date nights?
(If you recall, I had two similar cancellations in the last couple of months)
Like, couldn’t he just squeeze my date in between hospital visits?
And what does “she is in the hospital” even mean? – did she go in at 6pm this evening or had she been there for a week?
Context for cancelling our date MATTERS!
My absolute hate of people cancelling at the last minute is a bit of a thing for me.
Of course my head knows I shouldn’t take it personally – but my God, it still pisses me off.
(Irrationally so)
Mostly, I was just annoyed because this stupid token was going to land back in my date wallet – forcing me to have another ‘one last try’ date.
As I climbed off the tube and started my journey back home, I was contemplating whether or not to even message him back. Kind, caring, considerate me thought it was the right thing to do.
Irritated, “I-spent-3-hours-with-curlers-in-my-hair-today-AND-now -I-have-a-headache” me did not want to.
And then there was another voice in my head going:
“And why was he so damn perky?”
He just cancelled our date and then ended off with
“I hope you had a great weekend”.
“Umm yes I had a great weekend Gav
until you cancelled my date.
And could you please sound a little more depressed about cancelling.”
Honestly.
I pulled my phone out to reluctantly message him back – cause I AM a good, kind person.
(And his mum was in hospital – which suxs)
I reread his perky message.
I reread it again…..
“Oh shit”
He wasn’t cancelling.
He was simply apologising for not messaging earlier and telling me why. In my mild disproportionate fury, I hadn’t even read the second paragraph properly…I saw “Let me know…..” and my brain filled in the rest with “….when we can reschedule our date”
I had allowed my past negative experiences of people cancelling to completely hijack harmless, ambiguous information.
I am an idiot.
I messaged Gav to apologise for being an idiot.
(Although I certainly didn’t call myself an idiot to his face – I save the inner ramblings for here;-)
He graciously forgave me and waited the extra 25 minutes for me to head back over there.
Gav was so lovely.
It was a perfect first date.
We laughed a shitload.
We equally overshared.
(What a relief)
I didn’t feel anxious or worried about saying the wrong thing…
I was completely myself.
He used to be a teacher and has a whole host of stories to tell….
And he genuinely seemed to enjoy my stories.
And oh my God, he smells amazing.
(Why do more men not realise how intoxicating a good smell can be?)
The best part…we have been messaging like crazy the whole morning and I have a second date on Wednesday….
God Bless that last token.
(PS This post took exactly 1 hour to write opposed to my last one that took 11 days – go figure;-)