Approximate reading time is 12 min

For the last 6 weeks (pretty much my entire Summer holiday😯) I have been applying for modelling and casting jobs. I haven’t really been discriminant… if I fit the age, height and size criteria then I applied. (uuhmmm…ok… if I didn’t fit the age criteria I still applied😏) During this time I have been fortunate enough to get quite a few TFP shoots. (Trade for Print) ‘Trade for print’ basically means collaborating with a photographer where they get to use your images for their portfolio and you get to use their images (photographs) for your portfolio.

A great way to get more experience (and good references) but it doesn’t necessarily pay any bills. What then ensued, (as I slung out endless applications into the black nothingness), was daily mental reminders that “Everything always works out for me!” (Even when it sometimes feels like NOTHING is working out for me)

Everything is always working out for me!

(Got it!)👍👌

So about 4 weeks ago I saw a paid job that was basically offering to pay you to have all your hair cut off, in a pixie style cut. My initial thought was: “Good Lord.  No way in hell I’m applying for that!”
But it was a pretty substantial payment fee… so I will admit a small part of me was tempted. As usual, I decided to make a deal with God! (He is used to me by now😎)
It went something like this: “OK if you give me the job, then I’ll do it- no questions asked!” I mean, by then, I had already sent out mmmm…plus/minus 120 job applications/ TFP requests. (Yes I’m counting them- I have a spreadsheet and everything!😂) and so far not a single paid job offer. So I reasoned it was a pretty safe challenge.

Ha! God clearly has a sense of humour. Yes, I finally got my first paid modelling job and YES it involved me volunteering-ly murdering my beautiful long hair. I’m not going to lie, the build-up to the slaughter of my protein filaments this last week hasn’t been easy. I don’t think I actually realised how attached I was to my hair. A silent, inner war raged as I attempted to psychoanalyse myself on where I got this ridiculous notion that I would somehow be ‘less than‘ without my hair? Mmmmm….Who could I blame? My dad? (He always loved my long hair) ….almost every man I have ever met that also always prefer women to have long hair? Yes, yes… let’s blame them all!!! 😉. I have heard rumours that there are actually men out there that like short hair on women…but like mythical unicorns, vampires and yales I have yet to encounter one in real life. 🙄

In fairness, I have had short hair numerous times in my life, so this really shouldn’t be SUCH a big deal. However, I think my underlying fear was that if I truly hope to get into modelling, more permanently, then longer hair is perhaps more versatile. (An absolutely unfounded, and totally biased fear of course….but sometimes it’s hard to see things rationally when you are too busy freaking out!😫) Unfortunately, the more anxious I got the more determined I was that the damn hair had to fucking go. I decided that nothing, ESPECIALLY not my hair, should ever have this much power over my equanimity. SUCK IT UP GAYLE!!!!!

So what can I say about this shoot?

Random info: In Thailand, there is a tradition/superstition that is called ‘praderm‘. Praderm literally means the first sale of the day. Vendors believe that if their first customer of the day is a so-called ‘good customer’ then they will sell well for the rest of the day. The first sale is seen as auspicious and a good indicator of the seller’s luck for subsequent transactions. This is a common custom that can be found in various other countries as well. In Turkey, it’s known as ‘siftah‘ and in Indian/Pakistan it is called ‘Boni.’

This weekend as I arrived for my shoot I couldn’t help but think about these traditions. Honestly, for my first ever PAID (whooohooo👏) modelling job I could not have even dreamed up two better clients. I know I say this for almost every shoot I go to….but fuck I had so much fun!😂 Lee the photographer was hospitable to a fault. He has a gorgeous home studio, a variety of foods, snacks and drinks for you to eat and a WALK-IN closet filled with clothes, props and jewellery. (Such a change from always trying to figure out what I am going to wear for every shoot!) My hairdresser for the day was lovely John who performed my hair amputation with relative ease. I absolutely love my cut. 😉 Both men went out of their way to make sure I was comfortable and happy, true professionals in every sense of the word.

So the deed is done, and the anxiety is gone! 😁 I literally walked out of the studio on Sunday and had three email requests waiting for me from different photographers interested in working with me. (and my long hair!) 🤣 Yesterday day I got 4 more, two of which were also for paid work. (Luckily none of them seems too phased by the haircut!🤞)I still have a long way to go…but after weeks of continually having to ask for TFP shoots it truly is an awesome feeling to finally be on the receiving end of a request. I am so grateful to all the photographers that I have worked with so far. Their beautiful photo’s and positive references have been so much appreciated. 😁

Yesterday my year one class walked into class and one of the little boys saw me and tutted: “Oooohh you cut your hair! You look soooo handsome!”😂

Maybe I will start believing in unicorns and fairies after all.

# There is life after hair.

# Everything is always working out for me!!