Sorry I haven’t written in a while….I have had this toastmasters speech to prepare for that I did last night. Will write more about that this weekend sometime. 🌈

But I have just been giggling about something the whole day so I thought I would share it. It’s a classic Gaylism😂 I was sort of determined to actually bite the bullet and do the table topics last night at Toastmasters. ( I wrote a while ago about how much they scare the living daylights out of me…..I would quite frankly rather do a 7-minute prepared speech than stand up and speak about an impromptu topic for 1min).

I didnt quite manage it…..yet again. 😥

It literally feels like my chest closes up and I can’t breathe. So I passed…… (I get the slight feeling I am starting to annoy certain people…. it’s been almost 6 months and I still haven’t done it.😶. Shocking I know! ) So anyway…..during one of the other speeches the woman who was speaking was gathering some audience participation and asked who knew the story of the ugly ducking?

Inner dialogue goes something like this….
“Ooohhhh you know this, you know this put your hand up….show them you can speak dammit”

Hand goes up.

Am asked who the story is about.

Mind goes blank. Complete brain freeze

I reach for something….

All that comes out is….”its about….ummmm….( ….fuck fuck fuck what is is about?) …..a ……hen”.

Silence.

(Seriously did I just say that??? )

Speech lady is not too sure how to respond to that and gently says…..”um not quite”

Wait!!!! Wait!!!! I got it….

“It’s about a duck!!!!!”

Speech lady …..(trying to be kind) …..”well sort of “

Internal dialogue: ” It’s about a bloody swan who thinks his a duck- what’s wrong with you? “

Oh, the shame😣

(And they wonder why I am petrified of a whole 60 seconds of talk time!!! 😳)

Sometimes I am a complete dumarse….BUT it’s ok – cause I have been told I am a pretty loveable dumarse😂

Have a super evening
💝🌷🐝🌠💝🌈⭐