(Written 6 February 2021)
It’s been a whole month
of me being a carnivore
(Yes, you heard me right
fruit and vegetables no more!)
It sounds a little kooky
(I must agree!)
Meat, eggs and butter is all that I see.
But hand on my heart
this is not about calories
but hopefully a simple cure
for my damn allergies
For nine months I’ve had blocked sinuses
and a cough
(So please hear me out
before you start to scoff)
I mean I could have gestated
a live baby during that time
but alas all I have to show
is a nasal passage full of slime
So, this was my year
to start sorting out this shit
(Even if it means
to some weird diet I commit!)
Now it’s been a month and a whole
three days
I’m incredibly delighted
to be able to say
Two days into the diet
my ears went pop
Soon after that
my nose wouldn’t stop
Running and dripping
like a 2-year-old child
(Seriously, you wouldn’t believe
how that made me smile!)
At last, I can now blow
my freaken nose
so grateful for the gunk
that finally flows
The running has now stopped
I can breathe through my schnoz!
My ‘kooky carni-diet’
gets a silent round of applause
Another side effect
that I enjoy so much.
I never feel hungry
I don’t eat breakfast or lunch.
One meal a day
is all I’m needing.
No more cravings or hankering
until the next feeding
I no longer feel like my entire world
revolves around meals
I wish I could explain
how liberating that feels
But saying all that
I must now embarrassingly confess.
the reason I’m writing
is to open up and address….
The fact that I decided
to have an ‘off day’….
(I’ve been so good for a month
I thought it would be ok)
I ate lunch with my flatmate
(Whom I call ‘honey’)
This is what I stuffed
in my poor little tummy
Three helpings of chicken wings
couscous and salad
I munched through the food
until I felt rather pallid!
Although not still full
I went for a stroll,
Stopped in at Starbucks
(The love of my soul)
Grande Chai latte
and luxury fruit toast.
(These are the things
that I love the most)
On the way home
“Oh LOOK! A bakery!”
It was like a manic food demon
had ambushed me
I was now craving a strawberry and cream pie.
(It was so fucking delicious
I’m not going to lie!)
Oh my God, is that
gluten-free baklava?
What else can…. I say…except…
Hallelujah!!!
I bought one and devoured it
on the way home.
Then returned back to the shop…
(Hey, when in Rome!)
As I scoffed my second piece
Noooooo I still wasn’t done
An unbelievable sugar craving
was controlling my tum
I bought a slab of chocolate
Green and Blacks dark ginger, you see
(Because I know dark chocolate
is good for me!)
I gobbled it up
as I guzzled lemonade
Umm, it’s been a fun day
although I feel a bit dazed
It’s a little enlightening observing
the effect sugar has.
(You would swear I had been
locked away in Alcatraz!!)
Eish I don’t miss
that feeling of having no control
Like sugar is the Lord
that commands my soul
I woke up the next morning
with a cough and gunged-up nose
slight regret for all the sugary-wheaty
things that I chose
I only wanted to try
being a carnivore for one month
At least I could say
“Hey, I tried it just once!
But it’s been awesome waking up
not feeling like shit
Bundles of energy
look how much poetry has been writ!
I look in the mirror
a small smile on my face
Good Lord, what is that?
Is that a waist?
I am experimental by nature
I always like to see
if something different
might just work for me
It’s so easy to live in a castle of fear
Pass judgement on people’s choices
that simply seem weird.
It takes courage to step
out of the norm
Attempt something different
ride out the storm
Let go of the worry
about what others will say
Find your own crazy
Get started today!
Disclaimer: I feel the need to add
(because we sadly live in a nanny state)
I am NOT a doctor
so I cannot deem this diet SAFE!
I might just have been lucky
(Thank God I’m not dead!)
If you decide to try it
BE THAT on YOUR HEAD!
I personally promote nothing
nothing at all!!
I simply write about my experiences
it merely keeps me enthralled!
