Approximate reading time: 4 min
I am pleased to report that the incessant crying seems to have abated for now.
Neurotic Angel has logged on numerous times a day to see if anyone has left any negative comments on my last two posts, berating me for being such a negative, miserable person.
Needless to say, I am mildly elated that I seem to have survived airing the manic rantings of Mara-Keres and come out relatively unscathed.
Phew!
(Touch Wood)
Moving on…
It’s been an interesting week really….
It kind of felt like on Monday, all my wheels fell off a little bit.
My Christmas plans had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances and I was mildly devasted.
It’s not like I haven’t spent Christmas by myself before…
My first year back in London, in 2019, I did an epic job of getting through Christmas solo!!
(I did have plans but I got sick on the 23rd so I had to cancel them)
My first ever Christmas alone….
AND I survived!
……I was so very proud!!
Then we were hit with 2020!!
Covid!
Piece of Cake!
(By then I had the T-SHIRT!)
(Besides, it helped that millions of people worldwide were experiencing the exact same thing!)
Unfortunately, the downside of having all my family in South Africa means I can’t afford to go home every year. Hence every second year I have to go through this whole tedious process of trying to figure out what the hell I am going to do.
It’s so awkward!
And frankly, I hate it!
The worst part is that in the UK no public transport runs on Christmas day or boxing day. So unless you have a car (which I do not) you can’t just pop over to your friend’s house for Christmas lunch and then simply
GO HOME!
(Were I the heroine in a rom-com I’d have no qualms paying £100 plus cab fare needed to get me there!)
Alas, I am no such thing!
(Nothing like inviting yourself over for a 2 day Christmas sleepover!)
Honestly, these days Christmas seems a little bit too much like hard work and I wish I could be a little more Scrooge-like and say Ba-Humbug to it all!!!
I am one of those people who would start playing Christmas carols in July if I could.
And YES…please blast them out in every single shopping centre!
(You can NEVER have too many Christmas Carols!)
Sadly, I have noticed a pretty massive decline in my Christmas enthusiasm over the last 10 years.
Personally, I blame my parents.
My Dad died on the 10th of December and my Mother died on the 20th of December.
(I mean seriously, what were they thinking?
Why they couldn’t have chosen November is beyond me?)
Although I am not one to morbidly obsess about the “death days” of loved ones….it does still leave its mark. Especially since Christmas time is usually reserved for family.
(Obviously, I don’t really blame them!)
I just miss them so much more this time of the year.
I guess I also just miss not having my own family to build new Christmas memories around!
My inner child always feels like a needy Christmas orphan desperately trying to make sure she’s not left out in the cold!
So I’ll admit, Monday wasnt a great day.
My inner child felt very cold!
On Tuesday however,
I received 3 requests for dog-sitting jobs.
December the 17th – 20
December 21st – 27th
and December 28th to 6 January.
It appears the universe doesn’t want me to be alone either!:-)
(Granted it’s not quite the same as human contact,
but maybe it’s enough for now;-)
It’s funny how we worry and plan so much to avoid those things that we dread, and then when they actually happen…they somehow never feel as bad as we had envisioned they would.
I then decided it was about time I forgave my parents for dying during my favourite month of the year so that I could reclaim my love of Christmas back!
Since then, it appears things have picked up considerably.
On the 1st of December, I decorated a Christmas tree with 21 adorable 3-year-olds.
It also appears that I now have a few dogs that are becoming regular fixtures in my life….
I am infatuated with each and every one of them!
On Friday I got offered two set days of work in a school just up the road from me. One of those days I will be working one-to-one with a little girl who has autism. I have already done a couple of days of work with her, and honestly,
I just love her.
It feels a little bit like, dare I say it, after two years of me floating around randomly,
just maybe I am starting to put down some roots.
It’s a lovely feeling!
